


Mine

by henley_sarah



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Asgard, Asgard (Marvel), Avenger Loki (Marvel), Avengers Family, Based on a Poem, Blow Jobs, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cunnilingus, Drama & Romance, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Forehead Kisses, French Kissing, Friends to Lovers, Gods, Hand Jobs, Harry Potter References, Healing, Hogwarts Houses, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Internal Conflict, Kissing, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki is a sweetheart, Magic, Making Out, Masturbation, Masturbation in Shower, Neck Kissing, Non-Consensual Blow Jobs, Oral Sex, Pagan Gods, Past Sexual Abuse, Peaky Blinders References, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Avengers, References to Depression, Romance, Sex, Sexist Language, Sexual Frustration, Shameless Smut, Shameless references, Showers, Smut, Song Lyrics, Stark Tower, Trauma, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 16:10:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 35
Words: 31,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16579802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/henley_sarah/pseuds/henley_sarah
Summary: "I tell her that once a bad man broke into my homeI wish I'd also told her that bad men look like respectable young menThat bad men will compliment your Nana on her lemon squaresBad men write love poemsBad men smile so wide they will swallow youAnd you, you will convince yourself you asked him to.""Trigger Warning" Karina Stow





	1. Chapter 1

"How is it abusive if he never hit you?" I know they will ask. Everyone always asks. People just can't seem to realize that not all abuse leaves bruises.

I started a new job working under Tony Stark as a sort of assistant (since he and his girlfriend were spending time apart, so he had no help, but we don't talk about that) a few weeks ago, and things were running very smoothly. I was being paid well, my job wasn't entirely all work, and I got to meet amazing people.

Tony Stark was Iron Man, everybody knew that. What I didn't know was how close to the other Avengers he was. They practically dropped in on him like Stark tower was their own house. Though Tony did tell me that several of them had rooms here if they ever needed to stay.

I had met Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow, Bruce Banner, the Hulk, Steve Rogers, Captain America, Clint Barton, Hawkeye, Wanda Maximoff, the Scarlet Witch, Sam Wilson, Falcon, Vision, Bucky Barnes, Thor the God of Thunder, and Loki the God of Mischief and Lies.

Today when I walked out of the elevator in skinny jeans and a simple old T-shirt, Tony and what looked like a teenage boy looked up at me, and then the kid dove behind a couch. I paused and looked at Tony with a raised eyebrow.

"That's Peter. Spider-Man." He said and I nodded, then set my jacket and bag on the couch before leaning over it and looking at him.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Charlie." I smiled, and he stood up.

"Please don't tell anyone who I am." He said immediately, and I blinked.

"My lips are sealed." I smiled again to assure him. He nodded, then Tony pulled him over to talk. I simply went over to the screens and brought them up and began looking over diagnostics and numbers.

My brows furrowed and I brought up the numbers from yesterday and placed them side by side, my eyes flicking between them and comparing.

"You found something?" Tony asked.

"Yeah... well, it's normal for the percentages to rise or fall a few digits day to day, but the amount you're spending on clean energy has increased around fifteen percent since yesterday," I said, pointing it out to him. "Also, with as much as you upgrade your suits and build more of them, I'm afraid you're going to put a few markets out of business." I then chuckled.

"Hardly." He scoffed and brought up a keyboard and began to type. As he worked, I went over to his bar, where he installed a coffee maker per to my request, and ran some hot water and got a teabag to make myself some tea.

"I am so thankful for your eyes, Charlie," Tony said, making me smile a few minutes later when I sipped my tea.

"What did her eyes do?" Natasha asked as she walked in.

"When did you get here? Whatever, she saw a tiny little percentage increase that tipped me off that I have a leak with my natural energy source. I'm going to have to go fix that. You'll be alright without me?" He looked at me as I raised my eyebrows.

"No. Don't go. How will I survive without you? I can't do anything for myself. Please." I said in a monotone voice that had Natasha laughing and Tony rolling his eyes at me as he got in his suit.

He soon left, and I turned to Natasha, asking if she wanted anything to drink. She smiled and said coffee, and I got behind the bar, setting my tea down and got started on that for her.

"What brings you around today?" I asked.

"It's a slow day today. I wouldn't be surprised if everyone came by at some point." She hummed.

"Ooh, I bet Tony will love that." I grinned, and Nat just smirked at me, that smirk still on when I slid her her coffee and she took a sip.

She ended up being right, and soon the room was full of SHIELD people. Tony hadn't come back yet, and I was almost concerned if he had drowned.

"Hey, JARVIS, has Tony drowned or something?" I asked by a keyboard, typing something out.

"He's fine, miss," JARVIS answered me.

"It's taking him an awfully long time to fix that leak. Update me if he's dead, okay?" I asked.

"Why worry if he'll die? He's going to be fine." Clint said.

"If he dies, who else is gonna sign my paychecks?" I asked, getting him to snigger.

"Miss Charlie?" JARVIS asked, and I hummed, looking up to the disembodied voice. "There's a man here saying he brought you lunch."

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "I didn't order lunch."

"He says his name is Nick, miss," JARVIS said.

There are people around. Look happy.

"Oh," I said in surprise. "Uh, tell him I'll be right down." I hummed and checked my phone for texts as I walked to the elevator.

Nothing. As expected.


	2. Chapter 2

I stepped out of the elevator on the first floor and walked down the hall and saw my boyfriend, Nick, standing there looking like a model.

I wasn't going to lie. Nick was gorgeous. Tan skin, blue eyes, perfect wavy light brown hair, a styled facial hair. He even dressed like an H&M model or something. He was a little taller than me and had a perfect build, seeing as he was on the football team in high school.

He would overall be the perfect, dream boyfriend. Except he was a fucking asshole that I couldn't do anything about.

"Hey, babe." He smiled, showing off perfect pearly whites.

"Why didn't you text me?" I asked, saying it as if he ever texted me, or called, or anything. He just loved to do things without me knowing about them.

"I wanted to surprise you. I got you lunch." He smiled, holding up a Panera bag. I didn't even have to guess, I knew there was a salad in there. Just his way of subtly telling me I would never be good enough.

"Thanks." I put on a smile and took the bag. "Don't you have class soon, though?"

"Aw, you don't want me here?" He teased, but I clearly heard the threat in his voice. "Yeah, I do. Can't stay, sadly." He said, then tugged me closer to him by my waist and gave me a kiss.

When he pulled back, he looked me up and down. "That shirt makes you look a bit flat." He hummed, plucking the hem with his fingers.

I didn't allow him to see my shock or any emotion. He pecked my lips again and left with a "see you at home, babe!" I turned back to the elevator, bag in my hand, and I had half a mind to throw it away. I mean, he would never know, would he?

So when I got up to the room, I put the bag in the refrigerator and went right back to work.

"So... who's Nick?" Nat took my side.

Act happy. Act flustered. Don't tip them off that you're pissed.

"My boyfriend," I answered, keeping my eyes on the screen.

"How long have you two been together?" She asked, and I actually found her girlish curiosity endearing.

"Um..." I quickly counted the years since I was seventeen. "Four or five years now."

"And he hasn't asked you to marry him yet? After that long?" Steve sounded shocked, and I just shrugged as I typed more things to analyze later.

"We're young, we've got time." I hummed. It's not like I couldn't say he said straight to my face that I wouldn't make a good wife, and he wanted to marry someone better suited for him. Because that's what you say to your girlfriend.

"Well, how'd you meet?" Wanda took my other side, and I couldn't help but smile at how stereotypically girly they were acting.

"High school. Junior year. Well, my junior year, he was a senior. We were in the same Bio two class, though, it was a mixed class." I shook my head as I spoke. "Beginning of the year I was seated next to this girl, but she dropped the class maybe two days in? Nick joined the class late and got put beside me, so he was my partner."

"Aw, how cliche," Natasha said, and I snickered.

"So did he help you with labs and stuff?" Wanda asked.

"No, other way around. He's drop dead stupid." I said, earning a lot of laughter, making me smile, laughing a little myself.

"I was kind of used to being ignored by whoever sat near me in my classes, but Nick was pretty nice. He talked to me, so I helped him out in class and got him to graduate." I nodded. "But, you know, nothing's hotter than dissecting sheep's eyeballs." I rolled my eyes.

"Perfect first date." Bruce jokingly agreed, and I tried my very hardest to hold in my laughter.

"Can I see what he looks like?" Wanda asked, and I rolled my eyes once again, getting out my phone and bringing up a picture and handed my phone to her.

"Wow. He is... handsome." She said and some gathered to see. "Is he a model?"

"He wishes." I scoffed, bringing windows down on the screen to organize. "I personally think he looked better without the beard, but he likes it, so what am I gonna do?" I shrugged.

Tony then came back and came over to see what they were looking at. "Who's that?" He asked.

"Charlie's boyfriend," Bruce answered.

"You have a boyfriend?" Tony sounded shocked and I looked back.

"Is it really that big of news?" I asked, and he just shrugged.

"You just seem more... independent, I guess. I don't know." He said as Wanda handed me back my phone, and I locked it and slipped it in my pocket.

I wish.


	3. Chapter 3

After some weeks of working at Stark tower, Tony invited Nick for lunch, as he wanted to get to know the guy. I tried to say that Nick probably had classes or work, but Nick had easily cleared his schedule for a few hours.

I was terrified but also feeling lucky. As long as Stark was around, he wouldn't dare say the shit he said to me on a regular basis. He became charming, sweet, the perfect boyfriend when anyone else was near. He was a manipulative fucking psycho.

So when he stepped out of the elevator, my stomach churned and I felt my hands go cold at his smile.

"Mr. Stark, it's an honor to meet you." He greeted with a firm handshake.

"Ooh, with that handshake, he's going places." Tony chuckled to me, and I just smiled.

Yeah, jail, hopefully. Or a mental hospital.

We soon sat down with some food Tony had ordered, but had sworn me to secrecy and told Nick he cooked it. The two of them fell into conversation pretty easily, and I just kept myself focused on eating so I wouldn't have to talk.

I could see Nick monitoring how much I was eating, and I just knew he was going to give me shit for it later. I didn't care at the moment. He wouldn't do shit now, and that's all that mattered to me.

When he left, Tony turned to me with a smile and said how nice Nick was.

I almost threw up.

I heavily considered staying late just so I wouldn't have to face Nick so soon, but that probably wouldn't be good for me. When I got home, he was watching TV on our couch, shirtless, just in some sweatpants, probably to show off his muscles to me.

"Hey, babe. So I take it you enjoyed lunch?" He asked and I bit my lip as I hung up my jacket and bag by the front door.

"Yeah, I guess I did. Did you?" I asked carefully.

"I did." He nodded with pursed lips, then turned the TV off and got up, walking over to me where I stood frozen still. "I was a little concerned with how much you ate, though."

I didn't answer him, not sure what to even say to that, and he backed me into the wall, his hand coming beside my head to keep me in place.

"You think I want to be dating some fat fucking cow? You think I want to be with a whale?" He asked, his voice becoming dangerous, and I closed my eyes, biting my lip.

"Answer me!" He hit the wall beside my head, making me flinch and whimper, a tear or two slipping from my eyes.

"Oh, baby girl..." Nick then stroked my cheek, now speaking softly. "You know I'd never hurt you. I love you." He said and turned my face to his, forcing me to look at him.

"I do. I love you." He gave me direct eye contact before he kissed me all slow and sweet. "You love me?" He asked and I nodded.

"Say it." He ordered.

"I love you," I said softly, gazing up at him, trying to make it as believable as possible.

"That's my girl." He grinned before kissing me again and taking me to bed.

The next morning, I got ready at record speed before he woke up and got to work, already making plans to stay late, thinking up lies and rehearsing them in my head.

Loki was on the couch with a book, and he looked up when I came in, and gave me a small smile. I returned the smile and set down my jacket and my bag, tying my hair up as I brought things up onto the screen.

Loki liked to drop in now and then when Stark was out, saying it was because this tower was much quieter than SHIELD. I didn't mind at all, why would I? Loki was pretty good company. He was quiet, and always ready to show me illusions and tricks if I asked. He once said my curiosity was something like a little kid's.

As I waited for updates, I went over to the couch and sat by Loki. He looked up from his book at me, a knowing smile on his face.

"Yes?" He asked in a smooth voice.

"I didn't want to disturb you," I said, folding my hands in my lap.

He closed his book and set it aside. "It's fine, Charlie." He said and tugged his sleeves up a little before he began working his magic, smiling at me as I watched with wide eyes, being distracted from the world for a bit.


	4. Chapter 4

Nick was not happy that I stayed late last night. And by 'not happy,' I mean he was pissed. Fucking pissed. So pissed he broke a few dishes while yelling at me, accusing me of sleeping with Stark and being a whore.

It was safe to say that I didn't want to go back home.

So I had a sort of plan that would only last a couple days until Stark would notice that something was up.

I stayed over the first night, Stark providing me a room, and I left to freshen up in the morning when I knew Nick would be either at work or college, depending on the day. I'd change, maybe shower, then head back to Stark tower, maybe stopping for some food along the way.

I kept this up for three days, and Nick never texted. Of course, he didn't. But when I came home that evening, he had a lot to say.

"Oh, remembered you lived here, did you?" He asked, and I didn't answer. "Nothing to say? So now, not only are you avoiding me, you're giving me the silent treatment?"

He then got up and took my hair into his fist, forcing me to look at him. "I didn't want to believe it, but now I know for sure you're fucking that Stark. Three days away from home? 'Staying late'? You must think you're so slick, Charlie." He hissed, and I whimpered.

"I'm not, Nick, I swear..." I don't even know why I was trying to defend myself.

"What is it, huh? Is it his dick? Is his dick bigger, better than mine?" He asked and I shook my head, making him laugh. "No, I see. It's the money. Aren't you a little gold digging slut, Charlie?" He laughed in my face, making me tear up.

"I don't know why I didn't see it before. You get dripping wet every time I buy something shiny." He said, and I could now feel the tears making their way down my face.

He fell quiet, and I was scared to look at him. "Fucking whore." He huffed and dropped me to the floor, where I just sat, a sniffling mess, trying to control my tears.

I heard the fly of his jeans and immediately fell silent, knowing exactly what he now wanted from me.

When I walked into the tower the next morning, I just felt drained. I felt fucking dead inside. I just wanted to curl up, maybe cuddle something, cry, and take a good long nap. But I had nowhere to do that. Nick would know if I did that at home, and if I did it anywhere in Stark tower, I knew for a fact JARVIS would report back to Tony.

Loki was on the couch again, and he looked startled when he saw me.

"I don't mean to be rude, but you do not look well." He said, and I gave a tired chuckle and a smile.

"I'm fine, Loki," I said, but he just stared at me, not believing me. I know I probably shouldn't try to lie to the God of Lies, but I could try, couldn't I?

I dropped my bag on the couch fell on it, leaning my head back to stare at the ceiling. "Nick and I got in a fight last night, so I didn't exactly sleep well." I sighed.

There. That was about half honest.

"Close your eyes," Loki said and I gave him a look before I did so, and felt him place his hand over my eyes and forehead, and I suddenly felt incredibly tired, ready to pass out.

"Sleep, Charlie. You need rest." I heard Loki's voice and felt myself tipping over, falling onto what almost felt like a shoulder before I blacked out.

When I woke up, I was curled up on the couch, a little pillow under my head, a blanket over me. I looked around a little, and I could feel my hair being messed up. So I sat up and worked on parting it correctly, yawning as I did so.

"There. Now you look better. More alive." Loki nodded, still on the couch.

I chuckled over at him. "Thanks, Loki." I smiled, then saw Tony over at the keyboard. I then checked the time and saw that I had apparently been asleep for five hours. I immediately made my way over to Tony, an apology already forming in my mouth.

Tony seemed to know what I was going to say and he shushed me. "Your health is more important than a job, Charlie. We wouldn't want you passing out in the middle of the day." He said, and I gave a thankful little smile.

That's when I realized this might be my best job by far, as I had a boss who treated me like a human being.


	5. Chapter 5

It took only days for Nick to start acting like everything was fine between us. I came home from work and saw him adjusting his shirt collar in a mirror.

"Get dressed. There's a party over at Victoria's. And don't make me wait too long." He said, and I only nodded and got upstairs. I kept my skinny jeans on but traded my usual T-shirt for a nicer one, my sneakers for booties. I tied my hair up, put on a little jewelry, then told him I was ready.

Victoria was a friend of ours from high school. I've known her since sophomore year, but she was much more popular than I was, so we never really talked. We got close in junior year, though, when we had a bunch of classes together, most of them where we only knew each other.

She was stunned when I told her Nick and I was dating around May of junior year. Apparently, her other friend Bailey had dated him, and they broke up when she accused him of sexually assaulting her at a party. There was a case, and Nick was deemed not guilty, as he had made up an alibi. The witnesses had started saying that he was maybe at the party, then all of them suddenly decided he wasn't at the party that night.

I didn't want to know what Nick had to do to make them decide that.

We got to her apartment, and a couple dozen or so people were already there. Nick kept his arm around my waist as we greeted people and they greeted us. Nick was pretty popular, that was no lie, and me just being at his side for so long had people knowing who I was soon enough, too.

I got a cup and put soda into it, and Nick gave me a look. "I have work tomorrow, Nick. I'm not drinking, and I can't stay long, either."

"When did you become so boring?" He asked, then threw back a shot. I just watched him, telling myself not to make a scene, not to call him out.

He soon got us a spot on the couch, putting me in his lap. I sometimes wondered why he even went to such lengths to make us look normal. Didn't he know that no one would do shit if he acted the way he normally does around me around them? He's got to have tons of blackmail on these people for them to still want to hang around him.

Nick's hand met my stomach, breaking me from my thoughts. "With you on my lap like this..." He started talking softly into my ear. "It's making me want to slide my hand into your pants and finger you in front of everyone here."

Shivers raced down my spine, and not in a good way as he began placing kisses on my neck. "What do you say?" He hummed before I felt his teeth on my skin.

"I'd really rather you didn't..." I said softly, and he just froze, and I grew scared but tried my best to not let it show on my face.

"Whatever." He said, moving me to stand up, then he stood and pushed me down into his seat. "Gonna go piss. Don't move."

I thought about leaving as he walked away. I thought about telling Victoria or someone to tell him that I went home, but then I thought about how pissed off he would become. That he gave me an order, and I disobeyed.

The independent, stubborn part of me fucking hated this. I hated being told what to do. I hated being ordered around. I fucking hated being scared of this overconfident, smug, white boy. I wanted, I needed so badly to prove that he could not fuck with me, he could not treat me any way he chooses. I could leave him whenever I want because I deserve better.

But I couldn't. I know I couldn't. He wouldn't let me. I knew deep down that I couldn't do better, I didn't deserve better.

Even when he came back from the "bathroom" with glitter all over his lips, I knew I still had no chance of ever leaving him.

And it broke my heart. It broke me.


	6. Chapter 6

It wasn't until I was getting off work the next day that I realized I just didn't have it in me to go back home. When I paused in front of the elevator, not pressing the button to go down yet, Tony realized it too.

He came over and held my shoulders. "Talk to me, Charlie. What's up?"

I put on my best lying face. "Nick and I still haven't really resolved our fight from a few days ago... I just don't want to deal with him. Would you mind if I stayed for a few days?" I asked nervously.

"You can stay as long as you'd like, Charlie." He nodded, and I broke out in a smile.

"You're the best, Tony. Thanks." I said and skipped off to my room, which was on the same floor.

I slept pretty well that night and felt alright the next morning when I woke up. I walked out to the main room to get some tea before I went to mine to get a bag for however long I was going to stay here.

Loki was on the couch reading, and Bruce and Tony were working on something at the screens.

"You stayed over?" Loki hummed, and I looked over from the hot water dispenser on the coffee maker.

"Yeah. Why? Jealous?" I teased, and he laughed a little as I started to make my tea.

"What's the plan, Charlie?" Tony asked.

"What time is it?" I looked up from sweetening my tea.

"Nine twenty-eight." He said.

"He's already left for class... I'll go over in a bit to grab some of my stuff." I hummed, now sipping my tea, and I went over to the couches to sit.

"Are you fighting again?" Loki asked.

"We never resolved from the last one," I admitted.

"What happened?" Bruce asked.

"He's being an asshole, so I'm being childish. As you do." I shrugged.

"As you do." Tony agreed with me, making me smile.

"I'll go with you," Loki said and I looked over at him. "In case he is still around and acting like an asshole."

I smiled a bit wider. "Thanks, Loki." I just got a nod from him in response.

But if by some chance Nick was still at home, waiting for me to come by, how would he take seeing Loki with me? He wouldn't dare try anything with Loki around, would he? He's too careful for that. What in the hell would he do?

But around twenty minutes later, Loki changed into an all-black suit and left with me, getting a taxi to my apartment that was some blocks away. I unlocked the door and stepped in, and Loki had his hand protectively on my back. The place was dead silent, and I saw his keys weren't on the table by the door.

"He's not here," I said, tucking my own keys into my pocket, and went to our room where I pulled a bag out from the closet and started to pack. Just plain clothes, shit he wouldn't notice was missing. I even took special care choosing which makeup to bring so I could still look decent, without Nick noticing some things were gone.

"I have to ask, why are you even fighting?" Loki asked from the doorway.

"Nick is... jealous. When I stayed at Stark tower however long ago, he got it into his head that I was sleeping with Tony. I tried to tell him I wasn't, he didn't listen, blah blah blah." I shook my head as I tossed a bottle of lotion into the bag, along with my toothbrush and toothpaste and a hairbrush. All necessary things.

"Then we were at this party two nights ago that one of our friends threw. He got mad that I didn't want to fuck him in the middle of the fucking room because that's completely unreasonable," I rolled my eyes. "And he went off and did... whatever he did with some other girl. So I just don't feel like dealing with his ass right now. Or anytime soon." I zipped up my bag then turned to Loki with a smile.

"Okay, I'm ready," I said and saw him with a very confused look on his face, almost pained. We left, Loki with his hand on my back again.

I don't think I remembered the last time I was touched by someone and felt safe.


	7. Chapter 7

A lot of them seemed a bit happy I was staying at Stark Tower for a bit. The past few days have been some of the happiest of my life. I very nearly forgot about Nick's entire existence.

Loki was a big factor in that. He was always nearby, and he always had a new trick or illusion to show me, to amaze me with.

Right now I was sitting on the couch with him, cross-legged, staring at his wrist with no hand on it. My brows were pinched together and I was chewing on the inside of my lip as my brain tried to process it. I soon had his wrist in my hand, turning it different ways so I could get a good look.

"Where's your real hand, then?" I asked, meeting his eyes.

"It's still there. Touch it, where my hand would be." Loki said. I looked up at him again, and he nodded, so I lifted one of my hands from his wrist to the space above the cut, and felt something solid. There was a sort of ripple of light, and his hand reappeared.

"No way." I breathed in awe and turned his hand in mine, making sure it was real. "So... so it's like a sort of invisible barrier or something over your hand?" I asked.

"Something like that, yes." He nodded, then took my hand in his, and moved his fingers from my wrist to my fingertips, and I watched my own hand vanish before my eyes.

"Holy shit." I jumped a little and heard him laugh. "Wait, but..." I tried curling my fingers, and I felt them move. I then touched my fingers to my thumb and felt it. "I can still feel my hand."

"I told you, it's still there. You may not be able to see it, but it's there." He said and touched my palm, and my hand reappeared before me again.

I stared down at it, then looked up when Tony came into the room, Steve and Thor with him. I then got an idea.

"Do it again. Once more. I have to see something." I hissed, and Loki gave me a look before he vanished my hand again, and I hid it behind my back.

"Hey, Tony, come here," I said and he came over, looking cautious. "Guess how many fingers I'm holding up behind my back."

"...I don't trust you." He said slowly, looking between me and Loki.

"Come on! Please, please, please!" I tried, and he sighed.

"Fine. Three."

"Nope. Guess again."

"Five?"

"Nope. Again." I began to smile a little.

"One?"

"No."

"Just tell me, Charlie." He sighed.

"It's none." I brought my hand back and saw him jump back at the sight of me with no hand, which sent me into laughter, Loki chuckling beside me.

"This is why I said I didn't trust you!" Tony huffed, then looked at Thor. "Look at what your brother is doing to her!"

"She came up with that one all on her own." Loki sat back, looking proud.

"Come on, Tony, it was funny. You've gotta admit it was funny." I smiled.

"Not funny to me! I was expecting like a middle finger or something. Not a fucking bloody wrist with a hand missing." He said, and I just continued smiling as I brought my hand back.

Tony stormed off, but Steve gave an approving nod before following. Thor gave a look to his brother, who simply grinned back at him before he walked off as well. I leaned back against the couch with a sigh and a pleased smile.

"I'm proud of myself." I hummed and Loki patted my shoulder.

"I'm proud of you, too." He smiled and sat back with me. "What should we do now?" He asked and I got to thinking.

"Confuse, don't abuse." I hummed, and soon had plenty of ideas. I then leaned over and began whispering ideas to him, knowing that if JARVIS heard, he'd snitch.

I couldn't remember the last time I had this much fun with someone else, the last time I felt this happy.


	8. Chapter 8

My happiness didn't last too long, as JARVIS updated me when Nick was coming toward the front doors.

"What? No. Lock them." I said, getting up and going to the screens, bringing up the live feed from the front door's cameras. I watched as he tested the handle, then the other one, and he looked confused.

"JARVIS, is the footage recorded?" I asked.

"Yes, miss." He answered and I nodded, continuing to watch.

"Hey, come on. You know who I am. I'm Nick. Let me in." He started to say, then sighed. "Look, I haven't seen Charlie in days. I just want to know if she's alright."

I narrowed my eyes at him, seeing his bullshit, but still watched.

"You're not going to respond?" Natasha asked, and I glanced over, seeing Tony had pulled up his own screen to watch as well.

"Nope." I popped my lips. "I just want to see what he'll do."

Over the past couple of days, I had gained a little confidence, a little strength. My stubbornness and independence had grown a bit stronger to where I wished he would slip up. I wished he would try something with me. I was going to act however the hell I wanted, and he couldn't do a damn thing about it.

I had plans to get all of my things soon and leave him, completely move into Stark Tower.

Nick started to grow angry, but he still kept himself collected since he was in public. "Can you just tell me if she's okay?" He faked concern again.

"I'm doing great." I hummed, and JARVIS relayed it to him.

"Oh, so she can hear me right now?" Nick gave a little laugh. "Charlie! Come on! Let me in! Or come down, whatever works for you. Can't we talk about this?" He asked, and I simply gave an unimpressed sigh, so he got no response.

"Charlie, answer me, dammit!" He yelled angrily, slipping up, and I gave a little smirk as he realized it and composed himself.

"Mic, please, JARVIS?" I asked and a microphone icon came up onto the screen. I cleared my throat before I pressed it and began to speak, watching Nick hear me.

"Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging system. The person you are trying to reach, Charlie Pitch, is unavailable at this time. Please leave your message after the tone. Beep."

He gave another laugh. "Real mature, Charlie. Real fucking mature!" He yelled and got a few looks, so he calmed himself again and sighed. "Fine. You know what, fine." He huffed and walked away.

I closed the window and sat back down with my Coke, slouching back.

"What are you going to do?" Natasha asked.

"I'm gonna go get the rest of my shit. Probably tomorrow." I shrugged, staring at a spot on the table, running through plans of how I could do that in my mind.

Later, after lunch, Loki came into my room where I was just staring at the ceiling. He sat next to me on my bed, and we were both quiet for a few moments.

"I'm sorry he spoke to you like that," Loki said.

"It's okay," I responded, not really knowing what else to say.

"It's not." I saw Loki shake his head and he looked at me. "You don't deserve to be spoken to like that. You deserve better."

I had no response for that.

Loki continued to look at me, and soon he was face to face with me. I heard him whisper the word 'sorry' before his eyes closed and his lips met mine.

I let my eyes close as well, and I let him kiss me. Loki had nice lips; they were smooth with no prickly facial hair. His kiss was soft. He didn't try to shove his tongue into my mouth, and he didn't bite down onto my lips to get what he wanted. He didn't grope me as he kissed me, either, and I felt like crying from the realization of how much I've been missing out on while I've been with Nick.

Loki pulled back, and I opened my eyes to meet his. He seemed to be searching my face, but I didn't know what he was looking for.

"I'm not saying I'm better, looking at what I've done in the past. But I, at least, would treat you right." He murmured so only I could hear him, so I knew the words were meant for me.

Loki then stood up to leave my room, leaving me a mess of confusion and tears.


	9. Chapter 9

So the next day I left for my apartment an hour after I knew he would be gone. When I crept in, it was dead silent, and his keys were gone, so I smiled to myself and quickly got to packing.

It took only a few minutes for me to empty my drawers of clothes into the large luggage bag, but it took only half a second for me to freeze when a hand came around my throat.

"Surprised to see me are you, babe?" Nick hummed in my ear. "I knew you'd show up sooner or later. You're becoming predictable."

He then turned me and pinned me to the wall, his hand still around my neck. I didn't want to look at him, but I didn't really have a choice. He looked pissed.

"Are you really trying to leave me? What is it? You don't love me anymore? Is that it?" He asked, his grip tightening a little.

I didn't focus on him right now. I needed to call for help. My mind raced as I came up with a plan of how to quickly silence my phone and get a message to Tony that I was in danger. I just needed to figure out how to get some distance...

"You can't leave me, baby girl. I love you. Why would you ever want to leave me?" Nick got close to my face, and I didn't answer him.

"Like you could ever leave me. It's not like you can do any better. It's not like anyone else wants you." He said, and I almost believed him.

"Oh, I forgot. You're whoring yourself out for those Avengers, aren't you? All that money must have you ready to go in a second." Nick grinned, then gripped me between my legs, making me whimper in slight pain and grab his arm to push him away, but he kept me in place by my neck.

"I bet they've all felt how tight you are, haven't they? I bet you even let them take turns, you disgusting slut." He laughed. "So I guess you wouldn't mind if my friends and I did the same? Just to teach you a lesson, and because you apparently like it for some reason. How dirty, Charlie. How whorish."

That was my breaking point. That's when I gripped his arm with the hand holding my neck, and I brought my knee up as hard as I could, and he let me go. I immediately darted to the bathroom that locked from the inside and slammed the door shut and locked it before taking my phone out and unlocking it as fast as I could.

Swipe down menu, put notifications on silent, messages, Tony, and let's thank God I was a fast typer. I sent three messages; 'HELP,' 'COME QUICK,' and 'HE WILL KILL ME.' I knew JARVIS would get the messages to him immediately, because JARVIS was amazing, and I would have help here in no time.

I put my phone back in my pocket and began to look for something to use as a weapon. Nick had begun banging on the door, making me jump and flinch, and I bit my lip, still looking around frantically.

The only thing in my head was hairspray as mace, so I took the cap off and shook the bottle, feeling how much was in it. Thankfully, it was much more than halfway full.

"Fucking BITCH!" Nick screamed. "You can't hide in there forever!"

"Yeah? Watch me!" I called. I jumped again when there was a louder bang, and I was sure he was trying to break down the door with his body.

Thanks to our apartment being cheap, the door broke only after a few tries, and I backed up, spraying the hairspray at his face, and he flinched and yelled, giving me the chance to run.

I made it to the living room until he caught up with me, sending me to the floor. I gasped and tried to get up, or at least crawl away, but he turned me onto my back and sat on my stomach as both of his hands came around my neck, immediately taking my breath away.

I clawed at his hands and arms, drawing blood, but he didn't seem to care as he only increased the pressure.

Stars danced before my eyes, and I began to black out before the pressure of his hands and weight disappeared off me. I turned onto my side and coughed, taking deep breaths to get air back into my lungs.

I managed to sit up and through watering eyes, saw Tony, Thor, Natasha, and Loki, Nick spazzing on the floor as electricity ran across him, and I let my head fall back, giving a deep sigh in relief.


	10. Chapter 10

In mere minutes, cops were all over the apartment. Tony and Thor were keeping an eye on Nick, Loki was with me for emotional support, and Natasha was packing the rest of my things as I was being asked questions by one cop while another took tissue samples from under my nails from where I scratched him.

"How long have you been in a relationship with Mr. Buchanan?" She asked, taking notes on my answers.

"Five years," I said, trying to keep my head clear.

"And has he been abusive with you before today?" She asked, and I slowly nodded and saw her write it down and Loki rubbed my arm a little.

"Mr. Buchanan has red and watering eyes. What is that from?"

"Hairspray," I answered. "I was hiding in the bathroom and used it as mace when he broke the door down."

"Smart," She commented and wrote it down. "Okay, one last question. Has Mr. Buchanan ever forced you into a sexual situation?"

At that, I looked at her, confused for a moment before I realized what she was really asking.

"Oh," I said simply and went quiet as I tried to figure out how to answer. Because yes, he has, and he can most definitely be charged for that, but there was one tiny detail that made it damn near impossible to charge him with that.

"Doesn't matter," I said, and she gave me a questioning look.

"Why do you say that?" She asked, and I was suddenly very uncomfortable.

I crossed my arms and looked down. "I never exactly said no."

I heard the cop give a sigh as she wrote it down. "I understand. We'll be in contact if we have any further questions." She said and walked off, but what looked like an EMT came over to me.

He gently lifted my head to look at the forming bruises around my neck, and he talked to me as he did so.

"Hi, Charlie. I'm George. How are you feeling?" He asked, and I shrugged, letting my shoulders fall limp as he felt around my neck. "Well, it's easy to see you're in a bit of shock, but really? You don't feel anything?" He gave me a knowing look.

"I'm tired. A bit hungry, too, I guess." I said.

"Anything you're craving specifically?" He asked, and I wondered if that was really medically important or if he was just making conversation.

"Um... fat." I shrugged.

"What kind of fat? Like avocado or peanut butter fat?" He asked and I shook my head, the tiniest smile coming to my face.

"No. More like Waffle House or McDonald's fat." I said and he nodded and lowered my head again.

"Gotcha. Well, firstly, your neck seems fine. He didn't damage your airway at all, just bruises you'll have to worry about. Second, you being hungry is posttraumatic stress talking." He said and I looked confused, which he read. "This was a traumatic event, so it's only natural for you to be stressed afterward. You'll probably be stress eating for a bit to cope." He explained and I nodded.

He then looked around a little. "This is a bit unprofessional, but can I see your hands really quick?" He asked and I lifted them, and he began to inspect my fingernails.

"I was the one who had to wrap up the other guy's wrists after you scratched him, and I've gotta say, I am impressed. I haven't seen cuts that deep from just fingernails... ever, actually." He said, still inspecting my nails, making me smile a little. "God forbid you're ever attacked again, but if you are, you put those to use."

He walked off and Natasha had the bag closed. "You're sure this is it?"

"You got everything from the bathroom?" I asked and she nodded. "Then yeah. That's it."

We were allowed to leave, and Natasha immediately asked what I wanted to eat. I said I would eat later, I was tired now.

I tried to ignore the worried looks they exchanged.


	11. Chapter 11

As promised, when we got to the right floor in the tower, I took my bag with a smile and went into my room, locking it behind me. I dropped my bag on the floor and just flopped onto my bed, hugging my pillow tight as I buried my head into it to muffle my cries (thank God I wasn't a loud crier).

I knew none of them would judge me, that all of them would be there for me, but I just... I felt so embarrassed and pitied. I could fucking feel their pity. I was embarrassed at how they could now see how weak I was.

I hate myself. I really do hate myself.

No.

I hate what that asshole made me into. I hate that he forced me to doubt myself, to not like myself. I hate that he made me think badly of myself. I hate that he made me think less of myself, that I deserved less, that I was worthless.

Well, no more, I say.

I deserve to love myself, and I deserve to like my body for what it is. I am worth more than he leads me to believe, and I deserve much more.

There. Now I just had to convince myself to keep thinking that until it stuck.

I sat up and wiped my tears, then brought my bag onto my bed and began to unpack to distract myself from thinking negatively.

Now to just keep that up for the rest of my life.

While I was sorting books onto a shelf, Loki appeared in my room, and I gave him a confused look.

"Doors can't keep me out." He shrugged, then looked around before back at me. "You look better."

"I feel a bit better." I nodded, straightening the books out where they sat.

"Good." He hummed and fell quiet. I was quiet, too, grabbing books and placing them on the bookshelf, but I was also remembering what Loki's lips felt like.

I told myself that I shouldn't be thinking of such things when I ended a bad relationship just hours earlier. I then told myself that it was different because I trusted Loki not to hurt me. I then reminded myself that I once trusted Nick, too.

"You look at war with yourself," Loki noted, and I looked up at him.

"I'm having a lot of conflicting thoughts." I hummed.

Nick called me a whore, a slut. I don't think I'm a whore or slut. But I'll probably look like one if I immediately get with Loki.

"Is there anything I could do to help?" He asked, taking a few small steps towards me.

Kiss me.

No, keep away from me.

No, kiss me.

Stay away.

"I wouldn't even know where to begin." I shook my head with a little laugh, as I didn't know what else to do. I was just fucked.

Loki took my hands and lead me to my bed and sat me down. "Talk. Whatever you want to say, just say it."

I let my mouth open and close for a few seconds before I stared straight forward at the wall. Fuck it, I guess.

"Well, when Nick thought that I was sleeping with Tony, he called me a whore. Specifically, a gold digging whore, and a slut a couple of times. He really hasn't let it up, as earlier today, he told me he thought I just let everyone fuck me. I have no idea where he even came up with that idea. Long story short, he thinks I'm like that, whatever word you choose for it." I rolled my eyes and took a breath.

"And I'm not, duh, but I have my doubts because I think I have feelings for someone, but I also think if I were to get in another relationship so soon, I'd be seen as a whore. But I told myself that I trust him not to hurt me, but then I thought back and realized I trusted Nick at some point, too. So, I just don't know what to do there..." I sighed, and shut up when I felt Loki's fingers under my chin.

"I don't think you're anything like that, Charlie." He shook his head softly, and I just stared, a little mindblown at how close we were and how pretty his eyes were.

"Is it me?" He asked.

"Huh?" I asked, lost.

"The person you have feelings for. Is it me?" He asked, looking a bit hopeful, and I nodded and saw him smile bashfully.

"Good. I'm glad." Loki nodded, gazing at me. "Then I can help you with that problem."

"How?" I asked.

"I'll prove to you that I will never hurt you. I'll prove that you can trust me completely. I'll make sure to treat you right, to make you know that you're special and deserving and worthy. We don't have to begin anything immediately, we can go as slow as you'd like. I'm happy just knowing my feelings are reciprocated." Loki spoke softly, smiling and stroking my cheek gently with his thumb. "Does that sound good?"

I nodded, gazing at him, not wanting to look away. "Can you kiss me?"

"You want me to kiss you?" He asked, raising his brow at me and I blushed a little.

"Yesterday, when you kissed me, I liked it. You weren't forceful or anything..." I said and trailed off.

Loki just gave me a soft smile before he leaned in, and I closed my eyes, kissing him back as he let his lips meet mine.

It just felt, I don't know, right.


	12. Chapter 12

After a week, I was happy that Loki kept his word. His patience astounded me, honestly. He understood that I wanted to keep what we had private, and so he would keep whatever touching between us platonic when around others. He didn't even try to kiss me unless I asked or initiated a kiss first, which I guess I was thankful for.

I mean, sure, I would love to get to a point where he could kiss me whenever he liked and touch me as he liked, too. But for now, I appreciated that he took caution not to make me uncomfortable in any way.

I sat at the bar in a hoodie and some shorts, playing a color game on my phone while I drank tea out of the biggest mug I could get my hands on.

I felt a hand meet my back, and I looked up and saw Loki sliding into the seat next to me.

"Hey," I smiled, then licked my lips as I looked back at the puzzle I was on. "What's up?"

"Is Tony still refusing you working?" He asked and I rolled my eyes.

"Yes. It's annoying." I sighed. "I tried to tell him I had to work to pay some of my bills, he just told me he'd cover them. Then I told him I wanted to work. He called me insane."

I then looked up at Loki. "I'm not even allowed near the monitor because Tony told JARVIS to snitch immediately if I tried." I pursed my lips.

Loki chuckled a little. "The lengths that man will go to. He just wants to make sure you're alright."

"I am alright." I insisted, picking up my phone again and resuming the puzzle. "I'm not a porcelain fucking doll."

"Of course not. But you do understand our worry, don't you, love?" Loki rubbed my back a little.

"Yeah," I grumbled. "Doesn't make me any less annoyed, though." I pouted, looking up at him, getting an idea.

"Are you busy right now?" I asked and Loki shook his head. I turned my phone off and dumped my tea, then took his hand and pulled him to my room. I set my phone on my bedside table and flopped on the bed.

Loki just looked extremely confused. "What is happening?"

"Cuddles." I patted a space on the bed beside me.

Loki then chuckled and shook his head, and I watched his clothes fade into a dark gray hoodie and sweatpants before he got into bed with me. I was going to curl up with him, but instead, I sat up and stared down, studying him.

"What?" Loki asked, looking at me a little nervously.

"It's not fair." I pouted. "You can't good that good. That's not fair."

"How is it not fair?" He now looked amused.

"Because if I were to wear what you're wearing, I'd look like a slob. But you... you look hot." I then narrowed my eyes. "Stupid height. Stupid pretty face. Stupid pretty hair..." I grumbled, and Loki chuckled and pulled me down and onto his chest, his arms coming around me.

"I sincerely doubt you could ever look like a slob, love." He sighed, then looked down at me. "Comfortable?"

I nodded, shifting slightly to rest my head on his shoulder, and brought my arms around him as well.

"Not that I don't enjoy this, I do, but was there something that spurred this on, Charlie?" Loki hummed.

I bit the inside of my lip softly before I spoke quietly. "I don't want to be depressing..."

"Tell me, love." He murmured.

"Well, it's just sort of the thought that I haven't been held like this in five years. Haven't really been hugged, or even kissed in a way that wasn't rough or demanding." I frowned slightly and brought my head closer to hide my face a little in his neck. "So, I guess I just sort of realized how much I was missing out on."

"You needn't worry about that anymore," Loki spoke as softly as I was, maybe softer. "I'm happy to fill you in."

"Thank you." I smiled softly and pressed my lips to his cheek. Loki turned his face towards me when I pulled back, looking into my eyes, and I closed them, expecting him to kiss me and hoped he'd get the message.

He did, and his lips practically felt plush against mine. He moved them slightly and softly, making my head feel light. I let my hand leave his side and come up to hold his cheek, keeping him close. I prayed that he got the hint that I didn't want to stop anytime soon, and also that he didn't either.

Loki obliged, making the flutters in my chest grow; flutters I haven't felt in what seemed like forever.


	13. Chapter 13

I knew that court was something I'd have to deal with, shit, everybody knew that, and I guess they could tell I just simply didn't have the energy for that.

I was sitting at the island with Tony, eating ice cream out of the tub, when JARVIS informed him that a Miss Williams had arrived.

"Great. Send her up." Tony smiled, then turned to me. "Best domestic violence lawyer money can buy."

I dropped the spoon. "Tony, you didn't have to do that."

"I wanted to." He just shrugged. "Charlie, you're not just my employee. You're my friend, too. I want to see that bastard rot, especially after fooling me."

I gave him a grateful smile. "Thanks. Really." I nearly teared up at all the support. I never dreamed I'd have this sort of support and love in my life.

A tall, thin woman with dark hair, sharp features, and a clearly expensive dress suit, carrying a briefcase. I was immediately impressed.

"Nice to see you again, Mr. Stark. And you must be Charlie. Pleasure to meet you." She had a warm smile and a very professional handshake. I liked her more with every minute that passed.

"It's nice to meet you as well." I smiled. Shit, should I put the ice cream away? It seemed to not matter as she took a seat next to Tony at the island, opened her case, and began pulling out files.

She immediately got to work making notes and highlighting stuff from documents she already had. It wasn't hard to see at all how she was the best, she was damn good and she was hardly doing anything other than going over things.

"Okay, Charlie, now onto something I really wanted to touch on..." She said and grabbed a file she had previously set aside, and filed through it. "When asked by the police if he had ever forced you into a sexual situation, you said it didn't matter because you never technically said no?"

"Yes." I nodded.

"Did you ever say yes, though? Did he ever explicitly ask for your consent?" She asked, looking at me.

I started to see her point. "No. He never asked. I never really did any speaking."

"Trust me, it does matter." She gave me a small smile and made a note. "I just found that bit interesting, because Nick Buchanan has previously been charged with sexual assault with another girl, Bailey Hepburn. Do you know her?" She looked at me again, pulling more documents.

"Yes. Bailey's a friend of a friend." I nodded.

"Did you know of the charge?" She asked.

"No, I didn't know Nick then. It was around a year before we met. I only learned of it after Nick and I started dating." I said, and she nodded and took notes.

"Do you believe Bailey?"

"Yes." I nodded. "I do now, at least. I didn't at first, because Nick just seemed so sweet and charming. He was nice to me, I thought he couldn't possibly. I thought it might just be a misunderstanding. But no. Now I one hundred percent believe her."

She then looked up at me. "Did something happen?"

"He sort of tried with me at a party not too long ago... that time I said no, and he just got mad and stormed off to find some other girl," I admitted.

She nodded and made even more notes. Then she went over what would most likely happen in court, what sort of questions his lawyer would ask me, what questions she would ask me, just so I was prepared.

When she said they would most definitely ask for my recount of the events that day, I winced a little.

"In detail?" I asked, and she gave me a questioning look. "Because, yes, I do remember every little bit of it. He just... said some very um, explicit things...?"

"I see." She nodded. "Well, you will need to include that, of course, it can affect his sentence, and even the jury's decision, but we might be able to swing having you paraphrase. Just be prepared to speak explicitly if it doesn't waive." She said and I nodded.

When she left, saying she'd call if she needed anything else, I put the ice cream tub away and gave a yawn, and Tony sent me off to my room, saying it's been a long day for me. I didn't argue with him, as I really wanted a nap now.

I fell onto my bed, wrapping myself up in my blankets, running over way too much in my mind.


	14. Chapter 14

After a morning of stressing overlooking professional enough to be taken seriously, and perfecting my makeup to put my best face forward. Loki was with me in my room, helping me keep calm and keeping me encouraged.

When we got to the courthouse, I was shocked to see two girls standing with Miss Williams outside.

"Bailey. I've never been happier to see you." I sighed at the bleach blonde when I went over. She gave me a hopeful smile and pulled me into a hug.

"I'm sorry about all that dickbag did." She sighed.

"I am, too." I smiled softly at her, then to Victoria.

"Man, when was the last time the three of us were gathered like this?" She sighed, tucking black hair behind her ear.

"Prom. Junior year." I nodded, and her face broke into a grin.

"Fuck, that was a nightmare." She said and the two of them giggled as I pressed my lips together, smiling a little.

"Ready?" Miss Williams touched my shoulder, and I took a breath and nodded, and we walked in.

I basically zoned out almost everything until I was called up to the stand. I was first asked to recall the order of events.

"I went over to the apartment with the intention of packing up my things to move, and I did so at a time I believed Nick wouldn't be home. We know each other's schedules, and he should have been in class at the time. I got a little packed, just clothes and shoes, and then I felt his hand come around my neck from behind me. He then had me against the wall, still holding my neck, and he started asking if I thought I could just leave him..." I spoke as clearly as I could.

"Apologies, Miss Pitch, but do you remember exactly what he said?" His lawyer asked, and I nodded.

"He said, 'You can't leave me, baby girl. I love you. Why would you ever want to leave me? Like you could ever leave me. It's not like you can do any better. It's not like anyone else wants you.'" I recited, then trailed off.

"And then what?" She asked.

"Well, then he got a little explicit..." I pressed my lips together.

"Your Honor, permission to paraphrase?" Miss Williams asked, and the judge granted it.

"He then accused me, falsely, of sleeping with the group of people I work with." I felt my cheeks warm and avoided all eye contact. "He made a comment about tightness, then about," I winced a little out of embarrassment. "Said people taking turns, then he made a suggestion of him and his friends doing the same with me." I finished and cleared my throat.

"That's when I kneed him to get away, and I ran to our bathroom, which locks from the inside. I locked the door and sent some SOS texts to my boss." I nodded, now looking up again.

"What did the texts say?" Miss Williams asked.

"The first said 'help,' then 'come quick,' and finally, 'he will kill me.'" I said and she nodded for me to continue.

"Nick then started banging on the door, so I looked for something to defend myself with, and I grabbed a can of hairspray to use as mace. He broke the door down and I sprayed him in the face, then ran. I got to the living room where he caught me, then began to strangle me, so I scratched him. It didn't take but a minute or so until I was saved and the police were called and arrived." I finished, and from the looks of the jury's faces, I should be feeling a bit confident.

I answered a few more questions until his defense lawyer began to question me.

"You said something very interesting to a cop at the scene that day. She asked if my client had ever sexually assaulted you. You said it didn't matter because you never said no." She gave me a look. "Now, why did you not say no for five years, Miss Pitch?"

My brows pinched together at her nerve. "Nick would get angry with me if I didn't wear the clothes he wanted me to wear, or if I didn't eat what he wanted me to. I wasn't really keen on finding out what would happen if I refused him sex." I said, and there was a millisecond of silence before the room filled with whispers.

Miss Williams then stood with a paper. "Your Honor, I also have a quote from my client stating that while she never said no, she never said yes either, because the defendant never explicitly asked for consent." She said and a policeman took the paper to the judge to read over.

"Because that question was asked, I would also like this moment to bring up a previous case of the defendant's, pertaining to a Miss Bailey Hepburn, who accused Mr. Buchanan of sexually assaulting her at a party." Miss Willaims said, holding up a file for the cop to take to the judge.

"My client was acquitted of all charges in that case, Your Honor." His lawyer argued.

"Only because every witness questioned whether his alibi was valid or not had suddenly changed their minds, all on the same day." Miss Williams said, and more whispers broke out. "Seeing as how the defendant has manipulated and emotionally abused my client, is it so hard to believe that he could pressure a group of people into lying for him?"

I was brought down from the stand, my hands slightly shaking, and I watched the two lawyers make their speeches to the jury. His went first, bringing up all the antidepressants I had been on since I was fifteen, which would have worried me, except when Miss Williams did her piece, we could all tell they were convinced. There was even a little applause from the crowd in the courtroom when she was finished.

We remained seated as the jury came to a decision, and my nerves were fucking shook.

"How are you feeling?" Miss Williams whispered to me.

I paused for a moment. "Like vomiting."

"Can't say I blame you." She hummed. "Charlie, you and I both know he's going away for a long time. Not to be cocky, but I can safely say we won this one. You might even be compensated for the injuries and trauma."

I gave her a little confused look. "I don't care about compensation."

"No, but it makes a nice bonus, doesn't it?" She hummed and I pursed my lips to not smile too widely. "I mean, seeing that scum burn and getting a hefty check?"

"Yeah, I guess." I hummed.

The jury came back in, and when the judge asked, they said it was unanimous, they found him guilty.

My heart felt like it broke my ribcage as the judge sentenced him guilty, and I let out a relieved breath. Miss Williams rubbed my back a little, and I turned away when they took Nick away, though I could see him glaring at me from my peripherals.

I thanked her a million times, and she walked me out to where the group was, and the Bailey was the first to reach me, hugging me tightly.

"Thank fuck!" She sighed loudly, and I giggled against her a little. "Victory tastes sweet, and it also tastes like margaritas. What do you say, Charls?"

"I would, Bailey, but I am fucking exhausted." I sighed out a tired laugh.

"Ah, guess I don't blame you. I'll call you sometime later. Get your number from Vic." She shrugged.

"Yeah, of course. Anytime." I nodded. She and Vic walked off, not before Vic hugged me and kissed my cheek, and I went over to the group of heroes.

Since Steve was closest, I held onto his shoulder as I took my heels off as sighed when I stood flat against the ground again.

"This calls for a celebration." Tony smiled at me.

"Can I take a nap first?" I asked, making a few of them chuckle.

"Of course." Nat patted my shoulder as we walked off.


	15. Chapter 15

As promised, after I took a little nap and got my nerves back to normal, I put on normal ass casual clothes and fixed up my face again. I walked out and slid onto a stool at the island.

"Look at you looking comfortable again," Clint smirked, and I gave him a look in my hoodie, jeans, and sneakers.

"Any celebration ideas?" Tony jumped in, actually making me laugh.

"Why are you more excited to celebrate than I am?" I chuckled.

"I like parties." He shrugged. "So?"

"No, I'm open to suggestions." I rolled my eyes. Tony immediately began listing off bars and clubs and short descriptions of each. I just tried to keep up with slightly wide eyes and confused looks.

"Okay, I really don't care where. I just want a rum and Coke." I said, making Tony snicker.

"You drink so much Coke..."

"I'm probably about twenty-five percent coke at this point." I shrugged. "Also, preferably, somewhere without a dress code, because I don't feel like changing."

"Anywhere I go I don't need to follow a dress code." Tony shrugged.

"Why did I expect anything else." I blinked.

Tony had Jarvis shorten a list for him, and I leaned back against the island, looking at my phone.

"You're going to get sick of this question real fast, but how are you feeling?" Nat came over and asked.

"Fine." I hummed with a nod. "Only thing bugging me right now is that I have Umbrella by Rihanna and Jay-Z stuck in my head." I hummed, and she chuckled a little.

"It's not even the whole song. It's just the last line Jay-Z says in his verse, and then Rihanna's first verse and the chorus. Over and over and over." I groaned.

"What torture." Clint shook his head, making me grin.

"It's not as bad as the times when I have Love On Top stuck in my head. That one sticks for days on end." I said, and Clint actually laughed.

Tony finally chose a place, and the only one not going was Bruce, because high energy places stress him out. So we left, and Tony being Tony, ignored the line and walked right to the door. I was in disbelief at how easily he could get into places, then I realized I should probably be getting used to this.

I leaned over to Nat as we walked to the bar, and she looped her arm in mine. "Is it stereotyping of me to expect you to get something vodka?" I asked.

"Yes, but you wouldn't be wrong." She hummed, and I grinned. Clint, with a couple of beer bottles in hand, pointed out the booth they had stolen from some couple, and Nat and I turned to get our drinks.

Once I had my Coke and Bacardi rum, and Nat had whatever concoction of vodka, we went over, and I slid in next to Loki with what looked like whiskey.

"Why don't you drink Coke and rum constantly at the tower, then? I have rum." Tony asked.

"I'm awful with ratios. I'd fuck it up." I said with a shrug.

We fell into conversation, and I didn't say much. I just never let my straw leave my mouth and I listened to whatever music they played. Tony got up several times to dance, and soon Thor just moved to the bar from how fast he drank beer. Loki stuck by my side, and Clint and Nat kept pretty good company.

A beat I recognized came up and I smirked. Clint seemed to know it, too. Who knew that he knew so much pop?

"Hits a little close to home, don't you think?" He looked at me.

"I put Nick away, I didn't kill him." I rolled my eyes.

" _It's a twenty-two, I call her Peggy Sue_  
 _When she fits right down in my shoes_  
 _What you expect me to do_  
 _If you're playing me for a fool_  
 _I will lose my cool_  
 _And reach for my firearm_  
 _I didn't mean to lay him down_  
 _But it's too late to turn back now_  
 _Don't know what I was thinking_  
 _Now he's no longer living_  
 _So I'm about to leave town, yeah_

_Cos I didn't mean to hurt him_   
_Could've been somebody's son_   
_And I took his heart when_   
_I pulled out that gun_   
_Rum pum pum-pum, rum pum pum-pum_   
_Rum pum pum-pum, man down..."_

Loki's hand had met my back at some point during the night, and as I drank more, I found myself leaning more and more into him. I was growing tired, which didn't surprise me at all, seeing as how tired I've been lately.

"I'll get her to bed before she passes out here," Loki said and I think I saw them nod. The world then flashed before my eyes, and we were suddenly in my room. I kicked off my sneakers and started to take my jeans off, then struggled with my bra before I lied down.

Loki turned to leave once I was down, but I made a noise of protest that made him turn back around. I lifted my arm to him lazily, my hand outstretched towards him.

"You want me to stay?" He asked and I nodded. "Are you sure?"

"Loki..." I whined. I heard him chuckle softly, then he got into bed with me, his arm coming around my waist. I turned onto my other side to face him, and pressed a kiss to his jaw before I settled, too tired to open my eyes again.

"Night, love." I heard him whisper and kiss my forehead before I blacked out.


	16. Chapter 16

I woke up the next morning holding Loki's waist a little tightly, and once I was conscious of it, I loosened my hold. I didn't want to open my eyes, but that was mainly because I'm a lazy little shit.

I contemplated getting up to brush my teeth and join him back in bed again, but then again, I am comfortable and lazy as fuck.

"You're awake, love?" Loki softly asked, and I hummed to answer him. I felt his lips meet my forehead, making me smile.

I suddenly remembered last night and how I didn't take my makeup off or wash my face, and now felt the need to get up and do that. I kissed his cheek and told him I'd be right back, do not go anywhere, and went into my bathroom, taking off my makeup from last night and rinsing over my face, then I quickly brushed my teeth before I rejoined him in bed.

"All good?" He asked.

"All good." I smiled cheerily up at him. "Hey, you know I really, really, really, really like you, right?"

Loki was still for a second before he smiled widely. "Yes. Now I do, at least."

"'Kay. Just making sure." I gave a pleased smile, but then looked back up to him, slightly nervous. "You do like me, right?"

Loki's smile became softer as he looked at me. "More than I can comprehend." His lips pressed softly to my forehead again, and I tilted my face up, closing my eyes with my lips slightly puckered, just waiting.

When he didn't meet me, I opened my eyes and pouted a little.

"You're sure you want me to kiss you?" He asked, and I sighed.

"I'm going to be embarrassed to admit this, but I think about kissing you constantly. Yes, I'm sure." I assured him, moving myself up a little more to be closer to his face.

"Constantly?" He smiled.

"At a minimum, two or three times an hour." I nodded, taking pride when he looked flustered.

"I've... never really felt this wanted before. It feels odd." Loki hummed.

"Good odd?" I asked hopefully, and his eyes met mine again. He grinned and took my jaw in his hand, making me excited, and I'm sure he could see it.

"Yes, good odd," Loki said and began to lean in. I closed my eyes and met him halfway, a happy hum forming in my throat when our lips met.

I truly enjoyed kissing Loki, which felt so weird to me. I mean, every time Nick would kiss me, I'd be a bit disgusted, and I guess I got used to it after all these years. And now my mind was blown as I rediscovered that kissing can actually be really nice? How wild. What a concept.

I really, really wanted to test something but was scared I'd be pushing my own limits. But oh my God, how I wanted to kiss Loki even deeper.

I decided, fuck it, and let my lips open a bit wider. I felt him reciprocate, and so I took the lead and let my tongue meet his gently for a moment before pulling back.

Loki kissed me softly once more before he pulled away to look at me, still holding me. "Good?" He asked, and my heart swelled at the care he showed.

"Very good." I nodded and laced my fingers in his hair, licking my lips to wet them just a little more. Loki then gave a big smile before we kissed again, this time, both of us being a little more confident.

My stomach fucking _exploded_ into butterflies. I didn't even think it was possible to feel that many butterflies, or this many shivers all over me. It was so hard not to smile and completely ruin the kiss, but if you somehow could smile and kiss at the same time, I can't even picture how big my smile would be.

Minutes later (though it felt like hours), we parted, Loki pecking my lips a couple times as I smiled. I watched as his head fell back onto the pillow, and his eyes traced my face.

"Let me take you out today." He then said, taking my hand and tracing his fingers over the skin of my palm and fingers.

"Okay." I smiled. "Wait, you're sure you like me? Like really, actually like me?"

Loki smiled softly and pecked my lips again. "Yes." He said, looking directly into my eyes. "I crave your company and your smile. How lucky I am that you feel the same as me." He stroked my cheek gently, making me all the more excited and mushy.

"Okay." I smiled happily and pecked his lips. "Let me go get pretty." I hummed and slid out of bed.

"You're already stunning," Loki commented, and I knew my cheeks were strawberry red. I gave him a small smile, too flustered for words, and heard him laugh a little, which only made my smile grow.


	17. Chapter 17

I dressed in a dark gray tank top tucked into a black skirt, large blood red cardigan on my arms. Thankfully, the cardigan had pockets, so when I finished with my makeup, I tucked my phone and wallet in, and turned to Loki with a smile.

"Adorable." He commented and tipped my chin up, pressing a soft kiss against my lips, making me smile against his lips.

I left the tower with him, now dressed in his casual clothes, which was an entirely black suit. I could help but think about how we looked like a goth couple or something.

"What are you thinking?" Loki asked as I chuckled, and he took my hand in his, pressing a kiss to my knuckles before he held it in his own.

"Just stupid thoughts. Do you have a plan?" I asked.

"Nope." He said and grinned at me.

"I love winging it," I smirked, then thought. "Ooh! What time is it?" I asked and checked my phone, seeing it was a little after ten, and I beamed and lead Loki forward.

"My favorite cafe opens at ten, it's the most comfortable place I know. Aside from my own bed." I rolled my eyes. "They've got these really comfy booths, and they make tea, coffee, iced drinks, smoothies, and their own pastries. And the best part is that it's all insanely cheap." I smiled up at him.

"How cheap is insanely cheap?" He asked, looking amused.

"I always get a pot of tea for myself, and a pot is like, two dollars," I said, and his eyebrows rose.

I smiled and pulled him into the cafe, past the tables and booths, and down some stairs to the register. Loki read over the huge chalkboard menu rather quickly as I got my usual pot of tea, and the girl working the register handed me an empty mug as she filled a pot with hot water, then dumped some teabags in to steep. Loki then got a large mug of steaming hot coffee, and I got my wallet out and paid the total price before he protests.

We went to a booth, him taking a seat next to me after I grabbed myself some sugar to put into the pot rather than putting sugar in the mug every time I refilled.

"I love clear pots." I smiled, lowering my head to watch the water turn a richer reddish brown color with time. When I deemed it a rich enough color, I poured myself my first cup and smiled at Loki when I saw him watching me.

"Just when I think you can't cuter." He shook his head and sipped his coffee.

"Shush." I smiled at him, sipping my tea. "So, plan?" I hummed, watching him now. "What do we feel like doing today?"

Loki hummed and thought. "Today feels rather lazy, don't you think?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "Bookstore?" I asked and he looked up, looking a little excited, making me grin. "Bookstore." I nodded, confirming it.

We spent around an hour in the cafe, Loki seemingly surprised at me drinking a whole pot of tea. I rolled my eyes and took his hand again, lacing our fingers together, leading him to the bookstore.

We stuck together through the shelves, and soon Loki had grabbed enough books where we had to grab one of the store's cloth bags to hold them all in. We finally got to the graphic novel, comics, and manga section, and I knelt down at one series, trying to remember which was the last one I had.

"Books with pictures?" Loki's eyebrows rose, and I rose mine back at him.

"It's so you can visualize the story. Besides, the art is really good in some. Like in this one," I pointed to the series. "Super detailed. Look." I grabbed one at random and flipped it open, showing him an intricate page.

His brow rose, and I honestly couldn't tell if he was impressed or not. I rolled my eyes and put it back, standing, deciding to come back when I was sure of which one was the last I had in the series.

I picked up a book of poems from one of my favorite poetry groups, and Loki insisted on paying this time. I let him, grudgingly. Then he took my hand once more as we headed back to the tower, deciding a perfect way to spend the rest of the day would be in bed with our new books.

"Where were you two?" Nat asked when we got out of the elevator on our floor.

"Book shopping." I smiled.

"Nerds," Tony commented.

"Geek." I raised my brows back at him and lead Loki to my room. Before I closed the door all the way, I heard Tony ask Natasha if it seemed like we were spending a lot of time together.

After taking my skirt off to trade it for sweatshorts, and Loki magically changed into his hoodie and sweats, we got on the bed and arranged the books in front of us.

I plucked up one of the poetry books and handed it to Loki, then sat beside him, my legs over his lap and head on his shoulder.

"Read to me." I hummed, and his brow raised.

"Why?"

"Because I like your voice," I answered, smiling and blushing slightly. "Please?"

Loki smiled, turned to kiss my forehead, then brought his arm around me, holding the book open, and he began to read to me.

With the tea still making me warm, how comfortable I was lying against Loki, and his smooth voice reading such rhythmic poetry, I had fallen asleep around an hour in.

Loki noticed, smiled to himself, then set the book on his stomach, bringing his other arm around me, and let himself doze off not too long later.

Neither of us was aware when Thor poked his head in, looking for Loki, and caught the two of us curled up together, books surrounding us.


	18. Chapter 18

When I woke up, Loki was reading whatever book, and I stretched a little in his lap.

"Welcome back." He chuckled, and I smiled and kissed his lips quickly. Then I slid out of his lap, gathering some clothes to change into after I showered. Loki promised dinner when I came out, and I smiled at him before I shut the bathroom door.

I spent a little while just making sure my hair was thoroughly washed, then decided to shave a bit. When I stepped out, bare-faced, damp curly hair, loose T-shirt and sweatshorts, I didn't see Loki in my room. I heard voices out in the main room, and I was going to walk out and join them, but they sounded a little angry.

Furrowing my brows, I cracked the door and heard the angry tone of Tony directed at Loki. He was halfway through a sentence about how I had just gotten out of an abusive relationship, I didn't need any of Loki's schemes or plans hurting me further.

My brows pinched together, and I was a little hurt for Loki. I wanted to go defend him, defend us, but I had no clue what my argument even was.

"I promise you, I have nothing but good intentions. I wouldn't dream of hurting her further." Loki pleaded.

"Because you're so trustworthy? Have you forgotten what you did to New York? Because we haven't." Tony said. "You're only here to earn SHIELD's trust back, and taking advantage of Charlie so soon isn't the way to do that."

Loki didn't say that, and my hurt for him began to turn into anger.

"She'll be better off if you forgot all about her," Tony said, and that was the last straw for me.

"Hey, yeah, sorry, hate to interrupt, but I just had to ask, who do you think you are to make that decision?" I asked as I walked into the room, my arms crossed sternly, ignoring their surprised looks that I was listening.

I stood next to Loki where he sat, and he was looking at in surprise as well as I gave a stern look to Tony.

"Charlie, he's not as trustworthy as you may think." He warned.

"No one is." I snapped. "Breaking trust is just to be expected in this world. But I trust Loki enough, and it's my decision, not yours." I narrowed my eyes, then sighed.

"Tony, you're a good friend, I love you, you've done a lot for me, and I will be eternally grateful. But you're just being harsh judging someone on past events that they've tried to make up for. And hey, I know I haven't been here long, but from where I stand, I think he's doing a pretty damn good job."

"Charlie, you don't have to-" Loki started.

"I do," I said, and he just shut up again. "This is exactly why I wanted to keep it private because I knew something like this would go down. It would be either about how I can't trust you, how I'm not in my right mind or some bullshit, or whatever other bullshit reason stemming from my last relationship." I then looked up at the group of them, still looking stunned. "You all do know I'm not as helpless as you may think?"

"Well, yes, but-" Nat started.

"But nothing!" I cut her off. "Even before our feelings developed, he was being nice, a gentleman. He's the one who offered to come with me when I picked up my stuff the first time, just in case that dick was around. That was just when we were friends! But I'm sorry for not realizing that that apparently means nothing." I shrugged and was happy that they were finally quiet.

"Okay, fair. But Charlie, if he does end up hurting you?" Tony asked, and I rolled my eyes.

"Then I'll kick his ass to kingdom come, just like how I'll kick yours if you don't butt out," I said, putting a smile on. "We done?"

They gave small nods, and I touched Loki's shoulder before walking back to my room, and he followed me. I locked the door behind us and fell on my bed with a groan.

"Charlie? Are you okay?" Loki asked softly, still standing.

"I'm mad, and I want to hit something. But, I'm not strong, so I'd only hurt myself if I tried." I said and heard his soft chuckle. I then turned my head and looked at him, seeing him looking almost ashamed. I sat up and held my arms out to him. "Come here, Loki."

He came over and I took him into a hug to try and comfort him. "I'm sorry they think that way of you. You don't deserve it."

"I do-"

"No, you don't." I shook my head, then pulled back and held his cheek in my hand, making him look at me. "From day one you promised you'd help me feel deserving and worthy. Well, I promise the same." I said, looking into those pretty green-blue eyes that just seemed to get wetter and wetter with each second.

He then closed his eyes and put his forehead against mine. He sniffed a little, then swore under his breath.

"I swear, I am not crying." He said in a slightly shaky voice, and I smiled, stroking his cheeks and tracing through his hair.

"It's okay, Loki. You're okay." I whispered to him, letting him get his feelings out as he would do for me.


	19. Chapter 19

Loki spent a good hour or two then telling me about his father, Odin, and his mother, Frigga, who he said was probably the only person who ever really loved him. I listened with a broken heart as he told me that his selfish actions lead to her death, and how Odin, on more than one occasion, flat out told him to die. How he was nothing more than a relic, a trophy of war, to Odin. How he was raised believing it was his birthright to rule as a King, only to very abruptly and cruelly find out it was a lie. How, as he was hanging off a bridge, already emotionally distraught, Odin was the one who made him let go and fall into a void. How he only tried to take Earth because he was promised a throne, which he never got. How all he ever wanted was just to be equal with his brother instead of second best.

I was holding onto his hands, staring at my bedsheets, which blurred as tears welled up in my eyes for him. We sat cross-legged on my bed, facing each other, and when he paused for a moment, I let go of his hands and crawled into his lap, wrapping my arms around him in a tight hug.

Loki just paused, and his hands met my back, and he seemed confused.

"I'm so, so sorry, Loki." I sighed, and he relaxed a little, his hands sliding across my back to hug me tight as well.

"Odin better pray he never meets me." I huffed, and actually heard Loki laugh a little and he pulled back to look at me.

"Why is that?" He asked, his thumb wiping my cheek.

"I'm angry. Shit, I'm pissed he did all that to you." I said. "I mean, I probably can't beat him up, he's Odin... but I can certainly scream at him." I nodded, and Loki smiled.

"You are quite good at that, actually. I don't think I've ever seen the Avengers silenced like that before. Not even Fury gets them that quiet." He hummed, looking up at me as I was still on his lap.

"I have a lot of feelings." I sighed with a little embarrassed smile.

"I'm almost tempted to take you to Asgard now, just to see Odin scared stiff by a little human." He smirked. "People think I hate humans. I don't hate humans nearly as much as Odin hates them, at all, really." He hummed.

"He hates us?" My brows furrowed.

"He thinks your mortality makes you unworthy." Loki sighed.

"Oh, okay. Another reason to hate him. Keep 'em coming." I nodded, making him laugh a bit. His eyes weren't wet anymore, instead, they were sparkling, and I was happy to see him smiling again.

"Can I kiss you?" Loki asked after a few moments, making me smile and hold his neck.

"You don't need to ask." I smiled as he tugged me a bit closer.

"You're sure?" His brow raised.

"A hundred percent." I nodded, then saw Loki leaning in, so I did the same, closing my eyes, feeling butterflies as his lips touched mine. We kissed normally for a good long while before I felt his lips open a bit wider, and I smiled a little before I reciprocated, letting his tongue meet mine.

I was pleased when the butterflies still went crazy, like the first time. Fuck, it felt like the first time all over again. There was that excitement in my nerves, the shivers, all those fucking butterflies. Is this what stereotypical happy school girls feel like? I think it was called giddiness or something.

Something about being on top of him in his lap gave me a weird confidence boost. Not to mention a pressure in my core I wasn't sure what to do with. I could somewhat picture us lying down, me still on top of Loki, progressing from there. Fuck, I wanted to, but I knew that I just wasn't ready for that yet.

I let my hands begin to tug lightly at his hair as we kissed, and the groan I heard from the back of his throat practically made me melt in his arms.

I'm a fucking goner.


	20. Chapter 20

Bailey and Victoria invited me out the next day, so I got dressed and met up with them to get our nails done, then go for drinks.

We were now sitting at a table in a bar, eating tacos and day drinking. Victoria had square tip white sparkly nails, Bailey with almond royal blue nails, and I had black and green stiletto nails with a little silver here and there. My inner Slytherin was thriving every time I looked at them or even did something with my hands.

"You are just as emo as you were in high school, Charlie. You just dress a little more normal now." Victoria grinned at me.

"Thanks, Vic. Means a lot." I sarcastically smiled, then thought. "You listen to heavier music than I do!"

"Fake emo." Bailey rolled her eyes at me, and Vic laughed as I sighed.

"My pale ass just looks good in black, that's it. Bright colors are not an option for me." I shook my head with a little smile.

I made a little mistake some odd minutes later and looked at my nails again, then realized they were Loki's colors. I didn't even notice, honestly.

So then I got to thinking about him, and of course, his lips, and there I was at a bar with two other girls, thinking about kissing Loki maybe for the third time in one hour?

"You looked troubled, Charlie. What's up?" Victoria asked.

"You're going to hate me." I groaned, crossing my arms on the table and lowering my head.

"We promise not to. Now, come on." Bailey said.

"It's a boy," I said and they groaned.

"What did he do?" Bailey asked.

"You need us to kick his ass for you?" Vic asked.

"No, no, guys. He's fine. He's perfect, actually. It's me this time." I said, and they listened. "Okay, so we found out we had feelings for each other around the time Nick attacked me. Except I was super anxious over it because, you know, what if I'm seen as a slut? Is it wise to get into a relationship so soon? I trust him now, but what if I find I can't trust him later?"

"All valid, continue." Bailey nodded.

"So I end up talking to said guy about why I was being hesitant, and he totally understood. He told me we don't even have to consider it a relationship until I was ready, we could take it as slow as need be, all that good stuff. Oh my God, he even like kept touching to a minimum, he didn't kiss me without permission first. He did literally everything to make sure I wasn't uncomfortable." I said and they looked a bit stunned.

"He already sounds perfect." Vic nodded.

"Oh my fuck, he is. Okay, so I was obviously going to take it slow, right?" I asked and they nodded. "Yeah, then my hormones were like, 'no, you aren't.'"

"What happened?" Bailey asked with wide eyes.

"Okay so, he is a really good kisser. Like, a really, really good kisser. Butterflies fucking, just everywhere." I said, making them smile. "So lately, and by lately I mean yesterday, my mind got wandering and I was suddenly thinking about fucking him? And I was like, um, no, think about this. So now I've got all these thoughts like, am I ready to connect with another person that way? I trust him, yeah, but can I trust him to not hurt me while we do it? Do I really want this, or am I just horny?" I listed, then groaned.

"Well, good thing you thought about it," Victoria said. "That's heavy stuff. Definitely keep going slow." She nodded, and I listened as I sipped my margarita.

"Besides, you don't have to jump right into sex. Think of it as a pool." Bailey nodded. "Ease into it. Take things slow, one step at a time. Like..." She paused and hummed. "Maybe next time when you two are alone and he's kissing you that well, just try a little touching, just to test the waters."

"But nothing too extreme. Don't grab at his dick." Victoria jumped in, actually making me laugh. "Go for like, his chest or something."

"I pulled on his hair yesterday and he moaned. Oh my God, it was the most beautiful thing I ever heard." I sighed, putting my chin in my palm, and they snickered at me.

"But yeah, I get what you guys mean. Thanks." I smiled at them.

"Sure. And I'm sure if he's really as gentlemanly as you described, you have nothing to worry about." Bailey said.

"Yeah, he definitely sounds like he'd stop if you said stop." Vic nodded.

I nodded in agreement, then another thought came into my mind. "I totally forgot neck kisses were a thing." I groaned and let my head drop, hearing them laugh.

"Lucky girl." Vic teased me, making me blush.


	21. Chapter 21

Loki wasn't in my room when I got in, and I guess I felt thankful. My heartbeat felt stronger, and I could feel it in my neck, I think.

I then contemplated raiding the bar on this floor. I set my bag down and decided why the fuck not, and walked back out of my room.

I slipped behind the bar and looked at all the bottles, pursing my lips. I grabbed three and eyed the measurements before I stirred them together in a glass. I tasted and decided, eh, good enough. I slid into a stool and looked at my phone as I sipped, not letting the straw leave my lips.

"Is all you drink Bacardi?" Nat asked, and I looked up.

"I had tequila earlier," I said and sipped again.

"It's not five... It's not even three yet." Clint said, and I just gave a small shrug.

Tony came over and lifted my hand, looking at my nails, then he gave me a look.

"I'm a Slytherin. Fuck off." I rolled my eyes.

"Sure." He nodded.

"Do you really want me to go grab my Slytherin sweater, Slytherin tie, Slytherin shirts, my Slytherin jacket, my Slytherin keychain, or even my Slytherin popsocket," I said and held up my phone for him to see the back.

"Okay, okay, geez." He gave me a weird look.

"I'm proud to be a Slytherin." I huffed, drinking more.

"I can see that." He nodded and turned away. "Nerd."

"Geek." I grinned around my straw.

"Isn't that the villain house?" Clint asked.

"That's stereotyping," I said.

"Okay, how?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. I sat back in the seat, then spun a little as I thought.

"Okay, so each house is presented with a locked door. Ravenclaws would find the key, Slytherins would pick the lock, Gryffindors would kick it down, and Hufflepuffs would knock." I said and looked over. "Make sense?" I hummed.

"I need another example." He shrugged. I blew out air and kept spinning, sipping.

"Okay, I got you. Cap is a Hufflepuff, Nat is a Ravenclaw, Thor is Gryffindor, and Tony is Slytherin." I said and raised my hand to countdown. "Loyalty, intelligence and creativity, bravery, and ambition."

"I see Steve more like a Gryffindor." Bruce walked in, going to the coffee machine.

"I would too, but with how fiercely loyal he is, it's gotta be Hufflepuff," I said, still spinning. "What house are you?"

"Slytherin. It may not show as strongly as you or Tony, or even Loki, but I do have a strong sense of ambition." He said, sipping his coffee.

"You think he's Slytherin? How?" Clint asked.

"It's easy. Cunning and ambition. It's kinda what we're known for." I tilted my head. "But I think we can all agree that Nat's Ravenclaw and Thor's Gryffindor."

"Oh, yeah, easily." Bruce nodded.

"I had to think a little for Tony because I could argue he could be Gryffindor. But then I think that yeah, he has Gryffindor traits, but his Slytherin traits outweigh the Gryffindor ones." I let my head back as I spun, then stopped and let the room spin around me.

"I think if I were to sort you, I'd have a bit of trouble pinning you down," Bruce said.

"Nah, I know I'm Slytherin. I'm all, 'do it on your own terms or don't do it at all.'" I said and he nodded.

"I see it now. Yeah, you're right." He agreed as I set my glass.

"Okay, the room needs to stop spinning. Please." I sighed. Nat came over and took the glass away from me and instead put a glass of water in front of me.

"And that's why you don't day drink, Charlie." She said.

"Yeah, well, I hate myself, so." I shrugged and drank a little water before crossing my arms on the bar and laying my head on them.

"What have you had to eat today?" She asked, and I smiled at her trying to take care of me.

"Tacos," I answered.

"How many?"

"Two."

"That's not good enough. Want to get a pizza?" She rubbed my back.

"Spinach Alfredo with chicken." I nodded.

"Keep drinking your water." She patted my back and handed her phone to Clint. I got my phone unlocked again and played a word game with my head still on the table. I got distracted as I began playing and was soon humming.

"What's happening?" A new voice said.

"Charlie's been day drinking. Clint's getting her a pizza." Nat patted my back again. "She's been humming for a few minutes, but if she starts singing, I'll knock her out."

I then peeked up at Nat and grinned. I heard Bruce say "oh no," and I just grinned wider.

"Because!" I started, putting my arm through Nat's as I sat up. "When the sun shines, we'll shine together! Told you I'd be here forever. Said I'll always be your friend, took an oath, I'm a stick it out to the end..." Then trailed off as she gave me a warning look.

"Kidding. Geez. Ouch." I pouted, then there was pizza, making me smile again.


	22. Chapter 22

Clint put two large pizza boxes on the bar and slid me a smaller one. I sat up and opened it and reached for a slice, but it was too hot.

"Ow. No. Hot. That's not nice." I frowned, and lowered the top again, but not completely closing it.

"Did she just... scold the pizza?" Steve asked.

"She talks to inanimate objects more than you'd think. It's normal." Loki nodded.

"Okay, but good question." Nat turned to me. "Charlie, the glass I took from you, was that the only one you made?" She asked and I nodded. "How much rum did you put in?"

I paused and looked at the wall before at her. "How big was the glass?" I asked, and she sighed and held two fingers up. "There." I pointed at the space.

"That's... more than half the glass, Charlie. Okay, you said you had tequila earlier? How much?"

I just shrugged, and she sighed. I tested the pizza again and happily wiggled as it was now cool enough. I watched Netflix on mute on my phone as I ate through three slices of pizza, ignoring the rest of them.

At least not until Loki came to my other side. I glanced up at him, then paused it to stare at him. He noticed after a moment and looked at me, somewhat in alarm.

"What?" He asked.

"You're pretty." I simply said, and Loki blinked in surprise.

"Thank you..." Loki kept looking at me suspiciously.

"How do you do it?" I asked, leaning my head on my fist as I watched him in confusion.

"Do what?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Be pretty. Like, naturally pretty. You don't have anything on your face, but when I take this off," I pointed to my own face. "I look like an angry hardboiled egg."

Loki let out a small laugh. "You do not look like a hardboiled egg, love."

"Do too," I said and turned to close my pizza box.

"I promise you do not," Loki said, but I didn't hear him, my eyebrows now furrowed as I saw how much pizza I had eaten. A question came to my mind, so I just asked it without any thought.

"Hey, do you think I'm a cow?" I looked up at Loki, seeing his utter and complete shock.

"What? No. Of course not. Why would I ever..." He then trailed off and sighed. "Did that prick call you that?"

"Nick? Yeah." I nodded. "Just checking." I hummed.

"I want to kill him more as each day passes." Loki sighed, and I grinned, then yawned.

"Okay, let's get you to bed." Loki sighed, and my eyes slid closed and I mumbled a bit. "Sorry, love, what?"

I sat up a little straighter, eyes still closed. "I asked if you'd stay."

"Uh..."

"I dunno, I just feel safer if someone's near me... I can't stand being alone anymore..." I sighed, and my head fell a few inches off my palm.

"Okay, I'll stay. Come on." He hummed and helped me off the stool. I couldn't even really feel myself walking, but I did feel myself lying down face down on the bed. Loki fixed the blankets around me, and I smiled softly and curled up.

Loki leaned down and kissed my forehead. "Sleep, love." He murmured, and I hummed before I dozed off.

When I woke up again, I was in the same exact position but felt Loki on my other side. I turned over and saw him sitting up, reading a book, and his eyes flashed down to me.

"You're awake?" He asked and I just hummed and moved my head from my pillow to his lap, and he moved the book to accommodate me. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired." I sighed. "Head hurts a bit, but it's fine."

I then sighed and closed my eyes, wanting to rest a little longer before I got up. Then an idea came to my mind.

"Hey, Loki?" I hummed.

"Yes, love?"

"Would you mind showing me some magic?" I asked, hoping he didn't mind me interrupting his reading too badly.

"I'd be happy to." He closed his book and set it aside, then held his hands in front of me. Loki began to work his magic, creating little illusions in front of me, showing me different planets and stars and constellations, naming each of them in turn and telling me stories about them.

After a good long while, I sat up and put my head on his shoulder, still watching and listening with interest. Loki had soon created a galaxy with his magic and blew it up a bit so the stars and planets were all around us. I gazed all around, my mouth open slightly in awe, and I was completely aware of Loki watching me.

"Your magic is so beautiful..." I sighed, smiling a bit, and peeked just in time to see him flush.


	23. Chapter 23

It took me actual days to pluck up the courage inside me to try and things further, even if it was just a little baby step. I was about two steps away from locking myself in the bathroom and giving my reflection a pep talk about how stupid I was acting.

It's just kissing. It's just kissing with a guy that I'm incredibly into. It's just kissing with a guy that I'm incredibly into who also happens to be this sort of like, kissing God. It's kissing this kissing God that I am incredibly into, plucking up the courage to kiss his neck, and hopefully get him to kiss mine, and he will probably kiss me in a way that will make me cream my panties upon first contact.

I told myself to cool it, don't become hypersensitive, it's just kissing.

I could already feel the shivers. Is that a good thing?

Loki had work at SHIELD tower today but promised he could come by later when he was done. I almost considered putting on sexy underwear, but then slapped myself mentally. I promised myself I would take it slow, and I would only consider sex if I was certain I had a clear head to rationally think it over and be certain I was ready.

I didn't have a clear head right now.

I almost didn't even notice when my bedroom door opened and Loki stepped in. It registered in my head after a moment, and then I got up and hugged him tightly, giving him a hello kiss.

"Hello to you too." Loki chuckled, looking at me as he held my waist, and his brows furrowed. "You're dressed. Are we going somewhere?"

"The cafe?" I bit my lip as I looked at him, and he smiled, his armor shifting into his suit.

"Let's go." He took my hand and I grabbed my bag with my phone and wallet in it and left with him.

When we got to the cafe and got our drinks and seats, I asked about his day. He insisted on hearing about mine first.

"I lied in bed all day. Your turn." I smiled and sipped my tea. Loki rolled his eyes at me with a small smile but proceeded to tell me about what went down at SHIELD today anyway.

When we finished up there, I asked if he wanted dinner, and we ended up deciding on Chinese takeout. We got back to the tower, and Tony asked if we got him anything.

"Nope. Date night. Sorry, Tony." I hummed with a shrug and gave him a smile before I shut my door. We sat on my bed and I brought my laptop up, typing in my password and going to Netflix.

"Okay, series about a gang war in early nineteen hundreds England. You in?" I looked over.

"Sure." Loki smiled, opening up the boxes for us.

"Good, because it's one of my favorites and I've been dying to show it to you." I grinned and chose episode one, rewinding and turning the volume up.

We watched through the first episode, which was an hour long, and after putting leftovers in the fridge by the bar, I got back on the bed with Loki and was surprised when he caught my face and pulled me in for a kiss. I giggled a little into the kiss, only because he seemed so eager to do so.

"What?" Loki asked, smiling at me while our faces were close.

"Just you. You're cute." I smiled, then realized this was a perfect time. "Hey, you mind if I try something?"

"No, I don't mind." Loki hummed and I gave him a smile and swallowed my nerves as I kissed his cheek, then dragged my kisses down to his neck, and heard and felt the moan he made.

"I really don't mind..." He hummed and I giggled slightly against his skin. He held my waist a little tighter as I continued to work my lips on his pale, smooth neck, and brought my lips back up to his.

Loki took over the kiss, which I didn't mind in the slightest. He wasn't controlling or too rough, but he knew exactly how to make my head spin, and damn was he good at it.

He placed a kiss on my bottom lip before he pulled away, and I gave a small whine, which only got cut off when his lips met my neck.

Oh my God oh my God oh my God. I let out a half gasp half moan that was way louder than I intended, and my eyes widened and I slapped my hand over my mouth. Loki wasn't kissing my neck, just snickering into my skin at me.

"Shut up." I blushed, looking away.

"You're fine, love." Loki's hands stroked my sides, which comforted me a little.

"It was so loud, I'm sorry..." I said, and Loki kissed my forehead.

"There's no need for apologies, Charlie." He said, then smirked. "Besides, it just means I'm doing a good job, doesn't it?" He grinned before bringing his lips back to my neck, making me gasp and bite down on my lip again.

His hot lips against my neck had the butterflies acting up, and I think I actually trembled at some points. When I felt his tongue glide over my skin a little, I swear my nerves were shot.

It soon became unbearable, and I needed his lips against mine again. I caught his jaw in my hand and brought his face back up, and Loki seemed happy to comply as we kissed for what I hoped would be forever.

I'm sure both of our lips were swollen a bit at this point, and the kisses became softer and softer. Loki soon left me with a final peck on my lips, and I put my forehead against his, still needing to be close at least.

"Is it alright for me to consider us a couple?" I asked after a moment of calm and just breathing.

"Yes." I saw Loki smile.

"Oh good. Because I have for a little while now, I just forgot to bring it up." I nodded, smiling, and as Loki laughed, I joined him as I was unable not to with him.


	24. Chapter 24

I was finally allowed to work again, and so now I was at the monitors in joggers and a tank top, phone in my pocket, my earbuds in to give me music to focus. I wasn't really listening to it completely, I was just using it as background noise, as the actual background noise was a group talking in the background.

Peter came up a little later and stood next to me, and I slipped an earbud out of my ear.

"What do you listen to?" He asked, and I smirked a little.

"Little bit of everything. My playlist is fucked." I chuckled at myself.

"How?" He asked.

"I've got Childish Gambino and Rihanna in the same playlist as One Direction," I said, and he laughed a little.

"You don't seem like a person who listens to Childish Gambino." Peter shook his head, and I still grinned.

"One of my friends got into a fight that lasted around a month because he told me Bonfire was better than Sweatpants. I told him he was fucking crazy." I shook my head. "Sure, Bonfire is good, but Sweatpants is God tier."

Peter took my free earbud and put it in, and I went to play Sweatpants, then put it on shuffle. Peter looked surprised as I mouthed the lyrics, and I gave him a look.

"Don't judge me," I said when it ended.

"I'm not. I'm actually a little impressed." He hummed.

"Thanks... oh my fuck, this song is so wholesome." I smiled widely.

"I'll sing along if you do too," Peter said, and I met his eyes.

"Deal." I nodded, and at the same time we sang out, "You so fucking precious when you smile!" And we didn't stop there, the two of us being exceedingly (and annoyingly) passionate about this one song.

" _I'm so fucking happy you're alive_  
 _Swear to God, I'm down if you're down_  
 _All you gotta say is right_  
 _Girl anything I can do just to make you feel alright_  
 _Oh, I just had to let you know you're fine_  
 _Running circles 'round my mind_  
 _Even when it's rainy all you ever do is shine_  
 _You on fire, you a star just like Mariah_  
 _Man, this feel incredible,_  
 _I'll turn you into a bride, you're mine_."

When it ended, we fist bumped and went back to normal as if nothing ever happened, and I began typing in data to run over.

My mind got wandering as I did so, and I really began to hate myself for how distracted I was becoming.

That evening, I got a shower, and as I shaving my legs, I looked up at the showerhead and bit my lip as I had a thought. I focused on shaving again but still thought on it.

I guess it made sense in some way. Like, if I couldn't get off just by myself, then how could I ever get off with Loki? At least it made sense in my head.

So I finished up shaving and washing, then just stood under the water, trying to figure out where to begin. I closed my eyes and focused on clearing my mind so I wouldn't have any other intruding thoughts. I remembered how I felt when Loki was kissing me in that expert way he did, and how it felt to have his lips and teeth and tongue on my neck.

When I felt the flutters, I kept my mind on it and gently started at my chest and worked at it until I felt full-blown arousal.

Then I took the shower head down, turned it onto a jet-setting, adjusted the temperature so I wouldn't burn myself, then stood against the wall, legs parted, and positioned the stream against my clit.

At first, there was nothing. After a few moments, I was a little disappointed, thinking I had done something wrong, but then there was a throb that had me leaning forward a little. My mouth fell open, eyes closing, and shifted the stream of water just a little closer, and oh my God, did that make a difference.

After a minute, my legs were shaking too bad to stand, so I slid down the wall and sat, keeping my legs parted and the jet still on me. My eyes screwed shut, and my mouth remained open, and I was trying my very hardest to not make any noise.

It got to the point where I had to bring my free hand over my mouth to muffle my pants and whimpers as the coil just got tighter and tighter in my core. I could still imagine Loki with his lips on my neck, giving me smirks and knowing looks, and I brought the jet closer again.

My orgasm was, to say the least, explosive. A moan got stuck in my throat, and I tensed up real tight, shaking slightly before I relaxed into a puddle. I tiredly got the showerhead setting back to normal and cleaned the sticky mess between my legs before I turned the water off and sat there for a minute, relaxed and getting my breath back.

Baby steps, Charlie, I reminded myself. But at least I had gotten somewhere.


	25. Chapter 25

I told myself baby steps constantly now. After I told myself over and over that I was fine, everything was fine, my feelings were valid, it started to stick. I still needed to take my time, though, as I would probably regret it if I dove right in.

But it was so hard. Loki and I stayed up last night to watch a movie together, which was great and all. I loved spending time with him doing just normal ass things. But I hardly paid any attention to the movie because my mind kept wandering.

Just, 'hey what if he just started fingering me under the blanket?' And 'what if I ducked my head under the blanket and sucked him off?'

It was torture.

So while he was over at SHIELD today, I sat at the bar, drinking Bacardi straight, glaring at the wall because I was so mad at myself.

"I don't even want to know how you can drink that straight." Natasha walked in, then tilted her head at me. "What's up?"

"I'm fine," I said.

"Bullshit. You've looked pissed for days." She leaned on the bar. "Talk to me."

I sighed and looked around a little. "Not here." Nat nodded and lead me to her room, and I left the bottle and glass on the bar.

"I know you're going to hate me for asking, but is it Loki?" She asked.

"No. It's me." I shook my head, crossing my arms over myself. "I'm just so fucking frustrated at myself. And frustrated, you know... sexually." I admitted, blushing a little.

"Oh." She nodded in understanding.

"But like, in any other situation, I'd have taken care of it easily. But I just can't now. I want to, so badly. It's been on my mind forever now." I groaned and began pacing in her room. "But it's this one tiny part of my mind still stuck on that fucking douchebag. It won't stop nagging me, it won't just shut up. I want it to shut up so I can get a move on with my life." I sighed.

"Well, what does it say?" She asked.

"Every time I think about doing fucking... anything with Loki, it just rattles off. Just constant but what if he hurts you? But I trust him not to. Okay, but what if he does? Also, what if you panic in the middle of it and ruin everything? He'll probably hate you. But no, because he's understanding and nice, he would never. But what if he does end up hating me?" I sighed and held my head.

"And I'm also hesitant to try anything because what if he starts thinking I'm only using him for this? And I'm not. I genuinely like him. I really, really like him. Loki's perfect. At least, to me he is. But what if he starts thinking all I want is physical shit from him? I'm only using him as a rebound? What if he gets angry with me?" My eyes began to fill with tears and my voice cracked as I spoke.

"In any other relationship, I'd never think any of this. It's all that motherfucker's fault. He fucked me up, and I hate him for it. He's in jail, and he's still ruining my life! I just want to be over this now."

Nat came over and took me into her arms, and I hugged her back, crying into her shirt. "Why am I not over it?"

"You're not going to be over it for a long time, Charlie. What that bastard did to you is awful, just plain awful. Abuse and trauma like that don't go away so easily." She lifted my head and started to wipe my tears. "You can't blame yourself for still being scared."

"It's not fair to Loki." I shook my head, my voice still thick with tears.

"Hey, it's as you said. He's understanding. He doesn't blame you for what happened, no one does." She stroked my hair and smiled softly at me.

"I hate myself," I said softly, and she pulled me back into a hug.

"Please don't." She sighed in my ear. "Listen, Charlie. I'm going to talk to Tony, get you the day off tomorrow so you can take some time for yourself, okay?"

"No, Nat, you don't need to..." I shook my head, pulling back, and she gave me a stern look. "Okay." I sighed.

"Good girl." Nat smiled.

"Thanks, Nat." I sighed, smiling a little myself. "For everything."

"Of course." She gave me another hug before I left her room, ordering a bunch of Chinese and retreating into my room with it and a tub of ice cream, working on making more dopamine for me.


	26. Chapter 26

That afternoon, I had already put the ice cream and leftovers away and was lying under my blankets watching Netflix when Loki came in.

"Hey." I smiled, closing out, then saw his solemn looking face. "What's wrong?"

Loki just came over and hugged me tightly. I then understood. "Nat talked to you, didn't she?" I sighed.

"She told Tony you had some sort of breakdown today. She then replayed your conversation for me." He said, rubbing my back, and I hid my face, ashamed as hell.

"I'm sorry," I said, my voice breaking slightly, and Loki sat us down.

"My love, you have nothing to feel sorry about. I understand, and I'm here for you." He spoke softly.

"It's not fair to you, though." I shook my head and looked up at him. "You do so much for me, and I'm just over here being a fucking mess."

"No, love." Loki shook his head and held my cheek. "What I do for you is what anyone in any normal, healthy relationship does. And you're not a mess in the least."

"I am..."

"You're not. You're healing." He smiled softly at me, and my eyes grew wet. "It's not always going to be pretty, we all know that. But you are not a mess at all." Loki brushed away my tears.

I stared up at him for a long moment, trying to find any signs that he was lying. Anything to tell me he was actually mad at me, but there was nothing.

I sighed and leaned against him again, and he held me securely. "I know I must be a handful, though." I sniffed and he chuckled.

"Hardly." He pressed a kiss to my head. "What were you watching when I came in?"

"Just a show. You'd hate it." I smiled a little.

"I should be the judge of that, don't you think?" I could hear his smile, and I rolled my eyes.

"No way. I'm not corrupting you with this show. No." I shook my head, a smile still on my lips.

"Tell me what it's about, and I'll decide for myself," Loki said, and I looked up at him with narrowed eyes and a little smile. So we lied back, tangled up together, and I told him about the show about an insanely dysfunctional family. Loki asked just how dysfunctional were they, and I pursed my lips as he smirked.

"Fine, I'll show you. But if you end up corrupted, you can't say I didn't warn you." I reached across him to grab my phone to close out of it, then grabbed my laptop and went back to episode one, positioning it so we could both see as we lie together.

I paused it right at the end of the episode, and Loki looked like he was trying to piece it together.

"Welcome to American television." I smiled, and he gave a little laugh.

"Is... is that relatable?" He asked, and I bit my lip.

"Yeah, to a lot of families, actually." I hummed. "I mean, my house was like that." I shrugged, and Loki turned to stare at me.

"How?"

"Well, it was only my mom and me in our house. But drunken absent father? We had that down. My mom is most like Fiona, just constantly taking care of everyone, always multitasking, hardly any breaks." I nodded.

"And you?" He asked, making me grin.

"Lip. I'm closest to Lip. The only difference between us is I'm the horrible combination of smart and lazy. So yeah, I could easily do this problem, but do I want to? No." I shrugged, and Loki laughed a bit, making me smile wider.

"My teachers always either really liked me, or were annoyed with me." I smiled as I thought back. "Sophomore year of high school, my Biology one teacher was so impressed with my grades in his class, he wanted to put me in for Honors Chemistry the next year, but I refused and went to regular level Biology two. He was so pissed with me because I just didn't want to do the math that Chemistry required. Sure, I probably could've done it, I just didn't want to." I shrugged.

"History teachers hated me, because, you're so good at taking notes and answering questions in class, why don't you do the homework?" I began to giggle as Loki continued to laugh as he listened to me. "I was always good at writing essays for English, but I never did homework. Actually, I just didn't do homework in general." I laughed against Loki.

"My favorite was when guidance counselors would talk about my potential. I'd always be like, yeah, I know. I just don't wanna use it. That sounds like a lot of energy and expectations. No thanks." I smiled and leaned on Loki as he stared.

"How did you graduate?" He asked.

"I have no idea." I grinned, happy that I was feeling happy again.


	27. Chapter 27

Now that I was focusing on keeping that happy mood, I had gained a little of my confidence back. To the point where I shaved and prepped every inch of me (but not so much to where it was obvious), and put on some cute panties under my sweatshorts. Lace boyshorts made my ass look good, fight me.

I spent most of the day keeping my dopamine levels up, and if I ever started to falter and worry, I told myself to cut that shit out. I was going to be happy, dammit. I was not going to let Nick or any doubts given to me by Nick control me. This is Loki, not Nick. Loki, not Nick.

That afternoon, I was at the bar, looking at the bottles when he walked in.

"Is there an occasion, or are you just bored?" He came over and placed a kiss on my head.

"Um... haven't decided yet. Maybe." I shrugged and grabbed the vodka. Now that he was here, my nerves fired up. I grabbed two shot glasses and poured us one each, then lifted it.

"What's the occasion?" He asked, raising his brow at me.

"You'll see." I hummed and threw it back.

"Now I'm scared." He chuckled and drank it as well, and I took his hand and lead him to my room. I locked the door and kept ahold of his hand, staring at it in mine as I spoke.

"I... trust you. You know this, we all know this. That I care for you, and I trust you completely." I let his fingers slide with mine, lacing together. "I'm also comfortable with you. More comfortable than... fuck, than anyone else I know." I gave a small smile and kissed his hand, now blushing because I become embarrassed way too easily.

"Charlie?" Loki asked as I quieted.

"I, look. I get embarrassed easily. Saying things outright is hard." I sighed. "I want you. There! I said it!" I grinned, peeking up at him.

"You... want me?" He looked astounded. "Really? Are you sure?"

"A thousand percent sure." I nodded, and he let go of my hands and held my cheeks. I looked at him, up into his eyes, a great big smile on my face.

"I'll still take it slow, okay? I'm not going to push you." He said, looking straight at me so I understood.

"Okay." I nodded.

"I..." His eyes traced my face and he just laughed softly. "I don't even know where to begin now."

And so I stretched up on my toes and let my lips meet his. We kissed deeply, and I was soon feeling the sparks his lips and tongue never failed to bring me. We walked over to my bed, my shirt coming off as we went. I smiled into the kiss as his hands explored the top half of my body and soon had me sitting in his lap as we kissed.

"What," Loki started as he kissed my neck. "Would you like to do?" His hands tugged my shorts down, exciting me.

I thought for a moment, my mouth hanging open as he pulled my shorts off of me.

"Better question," Loki said, his hands gently tracing my thighs. "Is there something that prick never did that you'd like to? Or something he did wrong that I can correct?" He grinned.

"He never ate me out," I said, that being the first thing in my mind. "He was big on blowjobs, but apparently eating a girl out was below him." I rolled my eyes.

Loki looked a bit stunned for a moment, then shook his head. "He's missing out." He said as he turned us over so I was lying on my back, Loki above me.

For once in my life, I didn't feel threatened.

"Really?" I asked Loki's fingertips just under my waistband. He nodded, and I stared at him as he pulled my panties down and off me. "Why am I the only one naked?"

"Huh? Oh. Sorry." Loki looked down at himself still in his armor before vanishing it, leaving him as bare as I was. I watched with great interest as he lied between my legs, his hands stroking my skin, lips just brushing my thighs.

"You'll tell me if you want me to stop?" His eyes met mine and I nodded. He kissed a spot on my hip before dragging his lips down, still holding eye contact, and licked up my slit where he held me open.

The feeling of his slick tongue against me had me shivering. A pleasant shiver, though, and I inhaled sharply when he brought his tongue and lips back down, working at my entrance, his tongue dipping in occasionally as he licked across me.

The flutters in my torso never ceased, and my breathing got harder with every passing minute. Occasionally, my thighs would twitch out of pleasure, and Loki would just run his hand across my skin to calm me.

I was giving soft moans and whimpers so far, but when his tongue met my clit? Fuck.

My moan became a little lighter and broken as my mouth fell open. I reached down and let my fingers tangle in his hair. I felt my hips move a little against his mouth, and I blushed deeply.

"Sorry," I mumbled, and Loki grinned up at me.

"You're fine, my love." And with that, he closed his mouth around my clit and sucked, making my hips buck again, and my thighs shake. My moans became breathier, and I pulled on Loki's hair, pulling a moan from him and he just worked harder on me.

There was that familiar tightness in my core that had me a moaning mess. I was soon forced to close my eyes with all the pleasure coursing through me.

"L-Loki... please. Loki!" I moaned his name softly, and he wasn't letting up at all. I swore at the first convulse, now knowing I was close to coming.

Loki knew it too, and he brought his tongue down to lick over me, his hand now working at my clit. I squirmed a little, gasping out, and could now feel it pouring out of me.

After I tensed and relaxed once again, Loki took a moment before he came to my side and lied beside me, taking me into his arms, where I smiled and curled up with him.

"All good?" He hummed.

"Perfect." I sighed and raised my head to kiss him, and he eagerly met my lips. "Did you come?" I asked, my brows pinching together.

"Yes. I thankfully vanished it before it could stain your sheets." He kissed my forehead. "But you need not worry about me, love."

"Yes, I do." I nodded and lied my head on his chest. "It's not fair otherwise."


	28. Chapter 28

Some days later, after waking up for the second that night because of not so pleasant dreams, I was annoyed as hell.

Loki was next to me, sleeping soundly, and I could see the outlines of his face in what moonlight snuck through the curtains. I slid a little closer, careful to not wake him, and put my hand over his left pectoral, feeling his heart beating under my palm, thinking that might keep me grounded.

Only moments later, Loki's hand moved and held mine, bringing it up to his lips to kiss my skin. "Are you alright, love?" Loki hummed quietly.

"Yeah, I'm fine. This just isn't my night for sleeping, apparently." I sighed.

"What's wrong?" He frowned.

"I'm okay, Loki. Just a couple bad dreams." I chuckled, but he looked worried. "Nothing too bad, just regular old bad dreams. You know, standardized tests and running from zombies." I grinned, and he finally cracked a little smile, so I decided to keep it up.

"Or maybe they were vampires. They weren't that rotten... I don't know. They were something." I shrugged with a smile, and Loki leaned over and pressed a long kiss to my lips.

"You need sleep, Charlie." He hummed when he pulled away.

"Nah, I'll live." I shrugged, already feeling pretty awake.

"But what if I want to keep you up late later tonight, hm?" Loki asked, and that made my breath catch a little, and he smirked a little.

"You don't play fair." I frowned and settled down close to his chest.

"Never claimed I did." Loki sighed and put his hand over my eyes, knocking me out in a dreamless sleep.

When I woke up at the proper time that morning, I narrowed my eyes at Loki. "I hope you know that know my expectations are up."

He gave me a small smirk, not saying a word.

The day passed pretty normally, and I spent my free moments making my own plans for later. I scrolled through my Tumblr blog, and as I followed a good number of porn blogs, I kept in mind the gifs that looked hot enough to me that I could picture Loki and I do what they did.

And so when the sun went down, Loki met me in my room, and he had a grin on his lips as he tugged my hips to his, making me giggle before we kissed deeply.

Loki vanished his clothes and rid me of mine, and I took a little control when I nipped at his bottom lip and let my hand stroke him to life. Loki gasped and groaned into my mouth and stepped forward, making me step back, the back of my legs meeting my bed.

Loki moved to get us on my bed, and I just sat on my knees before him, not letting my hand stop on him. Loki's hand slid from my knee to my thigh, and I smiled a little and parted my legs a little.

At my sign of permission, he made me lie back, and I patted the spot next to me, and he moved there as I brought my legs up. His fingers met my folds, making me moan and bite my lip, and I continued to stroke him above my torso.

He teased my clit a little, making my mouth fall open, and I saw him smirk before he slipped a finger into me and slowly pumped. I bit my lip, giving him innocent eyes before I begged for more.

Loki looked a little awed before he pushed another finger into me, shaking his head as he did so. "I don't understand how you can manage to look innocent at a time like this."

That made me smile, because, well, he was right. "It's a talent." I hummed up at him, licking my lips a little.

Loki only leaned down, meeting my lips with an open-mouthed kiss, his tongue seeming eager to taste mine. It made my chest jump as I kissed him back, increasing my pace on him a bit, rubbing my thumb across his tip to tease him a little.

Loki increased the pace of his fingers, pushing his fingers in deep and stroking against the rough patch of wall, making me gasp and moan a little loudly. I couldn't stop my hips rising up to meet his hand if I tried.

Loki smiled against my lips, biting my lip and pulling back to watch me as he pulled his fingers out, gathering what dripped from me to rub against my clit. A lot happened just then. My hand lost its rhythm on him, and my other hand came up to muffle the cry I would've made. My eyes shut closed, and my back arched slightly from the jolt of pleasure.

Once I remembered what was happening, I began to focus on his tip, and Loki moaned lowly, hips jutting forward into my hand slightly.

Loki learned very quickly that I liked a lot of pressure of my clit, as that got the best reactions out of me. He found the best pattern to rub me in and found a good, hard pressure that had me panting and whimpering.

My thighs shook and I whimpered a little more, but he didn't let up, thankfully. Not even when his jaw dropped open, eyes closed, and he lazily rocked his hips into my hand, and he came across my stomach and ribs.

Something in me felt a little complimented at wearing his come, and that pushed me even closer to the edge. Just a few more rubs from his fingers and my hips snapped up, and I tensed for a good few moments before I relaxed.

Loki, now calmed, moved down between my legs and raised my hips to his mouth, licking up all that seeped out of me, making me sigh at the last few sparks of pleasure before we fell back into breathless giggles.

I looked down at the mess on my skin, getting another idea.

"Wanna get a shower?" I looked over at Loki, seeing him smirk slowly.


	29. Chapter 29

Loki happily followed me into my bathroom, and I knew he was checking out my ass. I didn't mind in the slightest.

I ran the water until it was hot enough for my liking, then stepped and asked Loki if the temperature was okay for him. He said it was fine and grabbed my soap and began washing his seed off my torso. And of course, he washed my chest as well. Could I blame him? Not really, actually. I'd have done the same.

Now, I knew that tits felt so much softer when they were lathered up in soap, and how slippery they got. I wasn't sure if Loki knew that before just now, though, because he seemed to be having a lot of fun right now. I bit my lip to hold in a giggle, and his eyes flickered to mine, and he smirked.

"Honestly, what did you expect?" He asked in amusement and let me rinse off and clean the rest of me.

I just hummed, deciding not to tell him all the things I pictured with us in a shower together.

I soon grabbed the soap and turned to Loki, running my hands across his chest, arms, abs, sides, and hips.

"Careful, love." He murmured, and I pretended to not see him hardening up in front of me.

"No idea what you mean." I hummed, then glanced up at him. "I'm always careful." I shrugged, then grabbed my shampoo bottle and gave him a smile.

He smirked slightly at my teasing, and rinsed off, and washed the rest of him as I got my hair thoroughly clean, but kept my mind dirty.

But, thanks to my anxiety, my mind wandered off slightly, chastising me for being so excited to be doing these things with Loki. Normal people don't get this excited... do they? Do normal people immediately jump for more after one orgasm? It... it's normal to want more. Right?

Loki caught my cheeks and was now looking at me in slight worry, and I guess my face must have changed and given me away.

"Tell me what you're thinking. I know that look." He spoke softly, and I averted my eyes to the rim of the tub.

"I..." I paused, not knowing what to say, exactly. "I'm not a slut for wanting you so much, am I?"

"No, my love. You're not." Loki stroked my cheek softly. "You can have whatever you'd like. There's no shame in that."

I nodded slowly, realizing he was right, then went to rinse my hair out, forcing that to stick in my mind. I shouldn't be ashamed. There's no reason for me to be ashamed. I want Loki, and goddammit, I'll have him.

Once my hair was all rinsed out, I stepped back over and held his sides, stretching myself up on my toes to kiss him. Loki kissed me back, slowly at first, until I brought my arms up and around his neck, pressing our bodies together. I let my lips part, and Loki gently backed me up into the cold tiled wall as he kissed me even deeper, and started to roll his hips into mine, making me gasp a little.

I wasn't sure if I was dazed from not getting enough air in my lungs or from all the pleasure I was already feeling. I broke away from the kiss for a moment to turn the water off, and Loki grinned as he handed me a towel, and we both dried off as fast as we could, and probably not completely.

I squeezed my hair in the towel as he pulled me back into my room, and I let the towel fall on the floor before I found myself lying under him. I smiled before he kissed me again, seeming hungry for my lips, and I was far too happy to oblige. I craved Loki's lips as if they were a drug. I grew to love how he pressed his want to my core, making my want grow for him, and I knew he could feel how slick I was beginning to get.

Loki broke away from my lips, though, to place kisses as he went to my thighs, parting them and kissing up them before he got to what he really wanted, and where I now really wanted him to kiss. I whimpered in want and Loki let his eyes meet mine as he indulged me, and probably himself as well.

I found no need to hide my moans or to not let my fingers lace in his hair to pull him closer. I blushed was extremely aroused as Loki moaned as he kissed and licked my core.

"I have fallen in love with how you taste, my dear." He breathed heavily against my skin, and I pulled him back up to me, not able to wait anymore, and I greedily kissed him, rubbing my hips against his. Loki got the message and pushed into me, and I gasped for a second, then just kissed him harder, needing everything he had to offer.

Loki didn't let up on kissing me as he began rocking his hips, thrusting fluidly in and out of me. I was on cloud fucking nine and I never, ever wanted this bliss to end.

When Loki did pull back from kissing and let his forehead rest against mine, I finally heard my own moans and whimpers, and I swore they sounded nothing like me. I then realized that truly was me, I just had to fake a lot in the past few years.

What I fell in love with was Loki. How he looked above me, gazing down at me with nothing but adoration in his eyes. He soft pants with a small groan every once in a while that fell from those addicting lips. A smile came to my lips as I looked up at him, and once he saw it, he let out a soft chuckle, smiling back at me.

"What?" He asked, sounding happy.

"Nothing. You." I let my hand meet his cheek, tracing softly with my thumb. "I love you." I realized that truth, and just had to say it. I now felt like I was going to explode.

Loki searched my face, his smile only growing. "I love you, Charlie. So much." He sighed and met my lips once more, and continued to show me how much he loved me.


	30. Chapter 30

When I woke up the next morning, I stretched and felt some of that leftover bliss drift through me. Loki was next to me, waking up slowly, and I traced his hair and face with my fingertips, taking in the sight.

"Hi," He smiled softly with a heavy morning voice.

"Hey," I smiled right back at him. Then I realized something, and my brows furrowed.

"What's wrong?" He asked, and I looked at the window, seeing the light coming through the curtains was way brighter than it usually was when I woke up.

I turned over and grabbed my phone and checked the time, and saw I had overslept three hours.

"Fuck..." I groaned and let my head fall back on the pillow. "Tony's gonna kill me."

"He wouldn't dare. He likes you, Charlie." Loki hummed.

"He's gonna chew me out either way." I sighed and forced myself out of bed, padding over to my dresser to pull out a pair of lace panties before grabbing a random T-shirt, no bra, and a pair of leggings.

"Oh, I one hundred percent blame you, by the way." I threw Loki a smile over my shoulder.

"Oh, really?" He smiled, knowing I was teasing. "Well, when you tell Tony that I'm at fault, you should also mention how you kept begging me for more and more, remember?" He got out of bed, every inch of him bare, and he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me to him, kissing me quickly. When we parted, he smirked, and I just gave him the angriest look I could muster while trying to not smile. It was true, after all.

I just tugged on a pair of socks as he went into my bathroom, and I grabbed my phone and a hair tie and left my room, going to the bar and grabbed a coke, tying my hair back in a ponytail, ignoring the looks I was getting from Tony, Thor, Peter, Nat, Clint, and Bruce.

"What?" I asked when it became unavoidable, and I walked over to the monitors, taking a drink.

"You look radiant today, Charlie," Nat said with a smirk.

"Fuck off." I just sighed and swiped my finger to bring up graphs to read over.

Not even a minute later, Loki came out of my room, getting the same looks, and I wanted to sink into the floor.

"Okay, who are we putting the fault on?" Tony asked, looking between me at the monitor and Loki at the bar.

"Why? What's going to happen to the faulty one?" Loki asked.

"Just dictates who I yell at." Tony shrugged.

"Ah. My fault, then. Apologies." He gave a smile, and I looked up, a bit surprised at him.

Tony went to lecture him, which Loki just seemed to not care in the slightest about, and Nat came to my side.

"That was actually kind of sweet." She hummed.

"Nobody listens to me when I say he's a sweetheart." I hummed as I typed, then looked over. "Think I should bring up the point that Tony comes in late from a one night stand at least once a week?" I asked and Nat snickered, then brought it up for me, and Tony looked over to see the both of us smirking at him.

Tony narrowed his eyes, and I saw Loki pressing his lips together to hold back laughter.

"We're talking later, Charlie," Tony said before walking off, and I gave a little salute with two fingers.

"That was wildly entertaining." Clint sighed happily, and I gave him a look. "Almost as entertaining as Charlie day drinking."

"That's funny, coming from a guy who looks like a rejected Backstreet Boy." I hummed, then gave him a sarcastic smile. Nat chuckled beside me, and I saw Peter looked excited.

"Okay, okay, but speaking of reject boys, your parents actually named you Charlie? Not Charlotte? Did they think you were a boy or something?" Clint asked with a smile.

"They did, but only because they compared my dick to yours." I couldn't help myself from grinning as I said it. Bruce stood back and watched in amusement, and even the Asgardians looked a little amused.

"And here I thought you were a nice girl, Charlie." Clint hummed.

"I should have Victoria come by and prove you wrong." I chuckled, mostly to myself, then looked over. "I was the bully in high school. Like, a calmer Regina George."

"Oh, well, that explains a lot, actually." He nodded, making me laugh as I went back to typing in data.

They kept me company and my stress levels down as I worked, running over numbers and making notes of all types of gradual changes. Loki came over after a while and stood with his chin on my head, making me grin.

"Hello." I greeted.

"Hi." He hummed.

"What's up?" I asked as I dragged a graph across and dropped it into a file to be added.

"Just bored."

"Uh oh." I grinned and Loki shushed me, leaving me chuckling, but then I got an idea. "Wanna see something funny?"

"What?" His face came beside mine, and I whispered the plan to him. He grinned and agreed with a nod.

"Hey," I called, making them shut up, and I pointed at the floor. "The floor's lava," I said and Loki made it start to bubble up and steam. But of course, that was an illusion.

I brought the screen down and Loki and I hopped onto the table and watched as Nat, Peter, Clint, and Bruce scrambled to get on a sofa or chair or the bar, and Thor just stood looking confused.

"Aw, Thor's dead." I frowned as the fake lava floor spread under him.

"Why would you two do that?" Peter asked, staring at us from where he stood on an armchair.

"Bored," I said with a smile, and Loki just shrugged.


	31. Chapter 31

Now that I was finally becoming truly comfortable with everything in my life, I decided to make just a couple changes.

I started with going through my wardrobe and separating things I actually liked and things the douchebag had me wear. I would've burned them in a trashcan on the roof or something, but then I remembered that donating was a thing. So I took them to be donated.

I then planned on going shopping for a new wardrobe, and Loki surprised me by saying he wanted to come with me.

"Are... are you sure?" I asked and Loki just tilted his head at me. "I only ask because most people want to stay far away when their girlfriend is going shopping."

"I'm sure. I can give you opinions and make sure you're not going to make any mistakes." He said teasingly, and I rolled my eyes at him. "We can get food, and after we're all done, we can go to the cafe you like." He offered, then it clicked in my head.

"You wanna fuck me in a dressing room, don't you?" I asked and watched his jaw drop and he stammered for words.

Then he gave up and sighed. "And see you in new undergarments, yes."

I sighed as I put my body bag over my shoulder, resting it on my hip. "I'll agree to the panties thing, but I'm not fucking you in a dressing room." I took Loki's hand and lead him out of Stark Tower.

"Why?" He pouted.

"Because I don't want to be arrested," I said and saw him smirk.

I lead him to an H&M first to get a good maybe seventy percent of my wardrobe. Fucking fight me, they had some of the best hoodies I've ever bought. I had plans to hit up a girlier store for dresses, and I warned Loki that it was impossible for him to hate it more than I did.

"The only thing I actually like about this place is their shoes. They do shoes right." I nodded to the wall of shoes as I sorted through dress sizes to find mine. "But that's a different trip."

After that, the clothes were out of the way, and I begrudgingly stepped inside a Victoria's Secret, because go big or go home, right?

I mainly wore boyshorts, cheeky, tanga, thong, and G-string, and I did a lot of lace and see-through. So I mainly looked for those in the boxes of panties and those that hung on the wall.

Loki saw a few sets he said he could picture me in. I gave him a teasing look and told him if I was going to wear a set for him, I'd come back to get it when he wasn't with me.

Loki hummed for a moment and said he could work with that.

I went to go try them on, keeping my shirt on, and I decided if I liked it or not, and only showed the ones I liked to Loki. And, to no one's surprise, he liked all that I showed him.

We finished up there and he helped me with some bags as we walked to the cafe. He wanted to take all of them, saying it weighed practically nothing to him, but I only let him carry the heavier ones, because I know I'm not that strong.

"How much weight can you carry?" I asked once we were sitting with a pot of tea and a mug of coffee.

"Uh... it was thirty tons last time we tested on Asgard, but that was years ago, so maybe more now." He hummed and looked up as if he was thinking back.

"Thirty tons?" I asked with a blink and he nodded. "How the fuck..."

"God, love." Loki smiled and kissed my forehead. I just sat back, trying to process that in my head as I sipped my tea. I then started to wonder how much Thor could lift, as he was beefier.

"I forget sometimes that we're different species." I hummed, pursing my lips.

"I'm reminded from time to time." Loki shrugged, then saw my questioning gaze. "I'm over five hundred pounds. If I were to lie on you, I'd crush you."

"Oh." I just nodded. I guess that made sense. After that douchebag finished, he'd lie on me a bit before rolling over to his own side. But Loki never lied on me. At least not fully. He'd lie his head on my chest or something from time to time, but he's always finished, then lied next to me and held me.

"I'm only just above a hundred pounds. That must be like nothing to you." I then realized with slightly widened eyes.

"I have actually considered carrying you around places just to annoy you a bit." He then gave me a smile, and I narrowed my eyes playfully at him.

"This only means I expect you to not drop me anytime," I said with a small smirk.

"I'd never," Loki promised, and I began making plans just to test him. "What are you planning?"

"Nothing. Geez." I stuck my tongue out at him, and he only smirked at me as I sipped my tea.


	32. Chapter 32

Loki was amused at me sorting my clothes out and putting them away in a certain order. I said he could fight me if he was laughing at my amazing planning and organization skills.

It wasn't until a couple days later when he was walking into my room from a day of being at SHIELD, and I got up and jumped up and onto him, legs around his waist and everything. Loki caught me with a laugh and held me up with his hands under my ass and thighs.

"Why don't I get this greeting every day?" He asked, gazing at me as I tucked some hair out of his face.

"I don't have the energy every day." I shrugged, smiling softly at him.

"Well, let's be thankful that I do." He kicked my door closed before pressing my back to the wall to kiss me heatedly.

We soon had a sort of sign language between us. One arm out just meant "join me," in either standing, sitting, or lying down. Two arms spread out meant one of us wanted a hug, to be held, or cuddled, depending on the place. But two arms reaching up, usually me reaching to Loki, meant I wanted to be carried. I usually only did this when we were alone, though. The only exceptions so far were when I was drunk and lazy, or too tired to care.

And things were going well. Hell, they were going amazing. I was happy, Loki was happy, and both of us were happy that we were happy. So everything was good.

Until it wasn't.

My phone lit up one afternoon while a bunch of us were just hanging out. I was confused that it was Victoria calling me because she never calls. She hates making phone calls, she'd much rather text.

But I got up and walked into my room, answering.

"I don't want you to freak out, but it's bad, Charls." She said and my brows pinched together. "He broke out."

I felt my heart literally stop. I felt every inch of me grow cold.

"Charlie?" Victoria asked when I didn't answer.

"I... I'm going to get a bat." I suddenly said.

"Get a gun! Get mace, like, the kind they use on bears." She said.

"No. I'm mad. And when I'm mad, I like to hit things, not shoot them. And if he even thinks about showing his face anywhere near me, I will be even madder." I huffed. "I'm finally actually really happy, Vic. And I'm not going to let that fucker ruin anything for me ever again."

"No, I hear you. Just... look out for yourself." She said and hung up after we said our goodbyes.

I stood there for a minute before grabbing my bag and tucking my phone in my pocket. I stepped back out, headed to the elevator.

"Where are you going?" Tony called.

"Gotta do a thing for Victoria. I'll be back in no time." I gave them a smile and I stepped into the elevator, going down to the ground floor and walking out to a sports store.

Why was I even lying? I mean, I wouldn't be for long. They're all fucking superhuman, they can all protect me. I guess I was lying because I didn't want to see their worried looks or listen to all the warnings they'd give me, as if I didn't already know them.

I got in and began looking for bats, and soon found wooden ones. I remembered from like, elementary school that the right size bat should come to your hip if you stood it upright. So I tested that and soon found the right sized bat.

I then decided what the hell and went to see what kind of mace they had. I picked up a bottle and checked out, reluctantly walking back home, preparing myself on spilling because I know they'd ask questions once they saw the bat.

And that's exactly what happened. I paused halfway between them and the door to my room. I clutched the bag and sighed.

"He broke out." Was all I said before going into my room and closing the door behind me. I got the mace out of its packaging and set it on my nightstand, and got the tags off the bat, and put it under the bed where I could easily reach it.

Then I just stood there, having no idea what to do with myself. I felt like crying, but I didn't want to give in to my weakness.

"Charlie?" A soft voice said, and I turned and saw Loki softly shutting the door behind him. I uncrossed my arms and held them out to him, and he quickly crossed the room and pulled me into a very warm, very safe feeling hug.

I let my arms come around him and I didn't plan on letting go for a very long time. Loki understood this all too well and got us on my bed where he held me very close to him, letting me feel secure.

"Tell me what you're thinking, my love." Loki murmured in my ear, and I sighed, resting my head on his shoulder.

"Victoria thinks he's going to come after me, and I mean, I guess I can see why'd she'd think that. He's very likely beyond pissed at me." I hummed.

"But?" Loki asked.

"He's stupid, but not that stupid," I said. "I only got a bat and mace in case he actually is that dumb."

Loki looked at me for a moment with his brows furrowed. "There's more. Tell me."

"You'll hate me." I frowned.

"I could never." Loki kissed my forehead.

"Part of me wants him to find me. Just so I can beat his face in." I sighed, and Loki laughed softly, to my surprise.

"Well, I can't exactly blame you there." He hummed and rubbed my back. "Of course, I want you safe, out of harm's way, but I, too, would love to see him in pain," Loki spoke lowly, only for me, and he made me smile.

Loki leaned down and kissed me softly, only for a second. "Promise me you won't go looking."

I had to smile at that. "Do you think I'm that stupid?"

"Not stupid, never. Reckless? Maybe." Loki just hummed as he pushed my hair back.


	33. Chapter 33

Tony upped the security and told me with a smile that Stark tower was safer than Hogwarts.

"Hogwarts was never safe in the first place." My brows furrowed. "With a three-headed dog on the third floor, a Basilisk that's been there since it was founded, not to mention the trick staircases, but also the plants and animals in the forest around Hogwarts, don't even get me started on the Whomping Willow... or the merpeople in the lake..."

"Fine. Safer than Gringotts." He tried again.

"With those rickety ass carts? And the dragons?" I stared at him.

"You know what I mean, Charlie!" Tony groaned.

"I do. And I appreciate it, Tony, thank you." I said with a smile. He patted my shoulder with a sigh and walked off, and I turned back to the screens.

I was glad everyone was taking precautions to protect me, even for the slimmest of a chance that I might be in danger. It was really touching to know that I was cared for. That people loved me enough for this.

And while I was really grateful, and I know it was best I stay in the tower where I was safe and there was tons of security, I was itching to get outside. And I hated that I was, too. All this security and precautions so I wouldn't be in harm's way, and I have the fucking audacity to want to ruin it all.

I was trying my very best to keep it to myself, though. But I had a feeling that most of them noticed how I was slowly growing more and more impatient.

I was trying to keep myself distracted with work, but there was only so much work someone can do. I began rewatching all thirteen seasons of one of my favorite shows, but I could still feel the tick in the back of my mind. All the ice cream, all the Coke, all the Bacardi in the world couldn't help me.

I stood at a screen and Tony came over and bumped my hip with his. "What's up?"

"Everything's looking good. No abnormal increases or decreases of... well, anything. Everything's all steady." I nodded.

"I meant with you, Charlie." He gave me a look.

"Oh. I'm fine." I said.

"Lying's a sin," Tony warned, and I didn't even dare look at him. "Look, for your own sanity, you don't have to stay holed up in here all the time. Just... take weapons. And someone with you."

I kept the act up. "I'm fine." I just hummed.

"Dammit, Charlie, no you're not." He sighed.

"Look, after all the precautions we've taken, you think I'm gonna throw all that away and risk everything? And for what?" I finally looked over, and Tony looked a little shocked at me.

"Fine. Just... fuck it. Fine." He turned around and walked away. "Reindeer Games! Where are you?"

I looked up in alarm, then brought down the screen and went to follow him.

Loki poked his head out, looking a little scared. "I don't know what you think I've done, but I haven't done anything."

"You're not in trouble, it's her." Tony pointed back to me. "I'm kicking her out for a few hours, you're her chaperone. Good luck."

"What? No." I protested, and Loki just shrugged.

"Sorry, love. I'm going to have to agree with him on this one." Loki hummed, and I just looked away. Loki came over and tried to lead my room while I tried to remain rooted in place. He just looked at me, then picked me up and carried me off. He grabbed my bag and phone and took me to the elevator, and sighed when the doors closed.

"At least try to cooperate?" He asked and I kept my pout on but nodded. He set down and handed me my bag, and kept his arm around me.

I let him lead me outside, and heard the doors lock behind us, and I glared at the glass.

"What do you want to do?" Loki rubbed my arm, and I just shrugged. "You aren't giving me the silent treatment, are you?"

"No," I said softly. "It's just... after everything everyone's done to protect me, doesn't it seem like a waste to want to go outside into the world where I'm not protected?"

"Who says you're not protected?" Loki looked down at me. "I'm here, aren't I? Do you think I'd let anything touch you? _My_ queen?" Loki brushed my cheek, making me smile a little.

"There's my Charlie. Now, plan?" He asked and I pursed my lips. I had my eye on this eyeshadow palette that recently came out, but I don't know how Loki would fare in a Sephora.

"I apologize in advance if you get uncomfortable, or really confused," I said, starting towards the mall. Loki didn't question me, he just went along with it.

His brows remained furrowed when we went in, and I went straight for the ABH stand, spotting the palette and picked one up. I bit my lip as I spotted Urban Decay's liners. They were twenty dollars each, and this palette was already forty-two dollars.

"You alright?" Loki asked softly.

"I'm really, really tempted to pick up more stuff." I sighed.

"What's stopping you?" He asked.

"It's expensive," I whined softly.

"I would think to work for someone like Stark, you wouldn't have to worry about that." He hummed, and I gave him a look.

"I blame you for everything," I said and stretched up on my toes to kiss his cheek, then went over to check out which colors I was interested in. I only had one so far that I really liked. It was a teal color that had gold glitter in it, it was so fucking pretty.

So, after many swatches, I had an emerald, a blood red, and a shimmery nude. I was doing my best not to hate myself.

I went to check out, got a gift for spending however much money, and then got another idea. "Okay, one more place, then the cafe?" I asked and Loki nodded.

I bit my lip as we walked. "Though, you can't come in this one," I said, and Loki stared at me.

"And why's that?" He asked.

"It's a surprise." I blushed and he looked over and saw we were at Victoria's Secret.

"Oh. Alright. Well, scream if there's trouble." He said and I nodded and went in, checking and seeing he had sat down with some other boyfriends and husbands outside. I chuckled to myself and decided to not keep him waiting too long.

I picked out a lacy black set that had embroidered roses on it and was a little strappy. I bought it, thanked the cashier, and walked out, and Loki joined my side again.

"I'm betting I can't peek?" He said, and I dropped the smaller VS bag in the larger Sephora bag.

"Not a chance." I smiled up at him.


	34. Chapter 34

I was a bit happier when we got back to Stark Tower some hours later, and they allowed me back in. I went to put my shit away, and Loki sat on my bed. When I returned, he looked a bit troubled.

"What's up?" I asked.

"It's quiet." He said and stood up. "Far too quiet."

I suddenly noticed that, too. Usually, someone was there to greet us, but no. It was dead silent.

I slipped the mace into my back pocket and grabbed the bat from under my bed.

"You should really stay here," Loki said softly.

"You think I'm really gonna do that?" I looked at him, and he shrugged. "JARVIS, what's happened?" I asked.

"Everyone's been chloroformed, miss. He's broken in, miss." He replied. I sighed, as we didn't even need to ask who "he" was.

"What floor?" I asked.

"Twenty." He said and Loki and I took off.

We took the stairs down a few floors and got to the twentieth floor. We came to a room of passed out Avengers, and through another doorway, Nick walked in. I readied the bat and Loki raised his hands, but Nick pulled a gun and clicked a bullet in place, pointing it at me before we could do anything.

"One move. Just one move and I swear..." Nick dared, and I stayed still, still in position, and Loki let his hands fall a little.

"That's what I thought. You go over and sit with your friends like a good boy." He said, and when Loki didn't move, the cold metal of the gun touched my forehead. I didn't dare flinch or show him any signs of fear.

I glared at Nick and saw that prison had not done him any favors. His eyes were a bit bloodshot, he looked tired. Shit, his beard looked like pubes now more than anything.

"You really think you can hurt me with that, sweetheart?" Nick chuckled at my bat, which I still had a good grip on. I kept quiet, thinking up a way out of this. I was honestly really lucky that Nick talked too much, especially in times like this.

Nick tilted his head to Loki. "That's the guy you're fucking now?" He asked, biting his lip. "Tall, dark, and handsome your type now?"

I just took a breath, thinking if there was maybe some way I could turn while swinging that would get me away from the gun...

"I would've thought you might go for one of the beefcakes over there, seeing as how much you love to be overpowered." Nick grinned, and I couldn't help my lip twitching a little. "Or do they share?"

"I think you've got a kink there, Nick." I hummed. Shut up, Charlie. Focus.

"Maybe," He shrugged. "Or maybe you're just a whore. Does he know how much come I've filled you with?"

I just couldn't fucking help myself, could I?

"No, but he does know how little you've made me come." I hummed and saw anger flash in his eyes. I don't know what made me keep going, but I kept going. "I remember you being so obsessed with your dick being the biggest of all the guys you thought I was fucking." I then smirked a little. "You got a micro dick, dude."

Nick grit his teeth, and the gun left my skin just slightly. Good. Now I had wiggle room.

"That's funny. I remember you begging me to fuck you when you were seventeen. You sure didn't think I was small then." He said.

"And I am so sorry I lead you to believe that," I said in the most sarcastic voice I could muster with the straightest face on.

Nick clenched his jaw, and I took my chance, pushing his arm down quickly and kneeing him to send him down. I readied my bat to beat his brains out, but Nick got the jump on me and pulled the trigger.

Pain shot up my right leg, and I stumbled a little before I grit my teeth and swung as hard as I could, hearing a satisfying crack against his head, and Nick hit the carpet, dropping the gun.

I pushed it away with the bat, then sat on my knees, and those five years came to me all at once. I grit my teeth, not caring about my tears, and beat his face in until he wasn't moving.

I dropped the bat and sat back, looking at my calf, which was bleeding heavily with a hole on the side.

"Fuck..." I gasped as I cried, and Loki came over.

"I think you killed him..." He said.

"Don't really care," I said. "JARVIS, delete all evidence. Video, audio, all of it." I sniffed.

Loki leaned over me, and gently placed his hand on my knee, but I cried out as even that hurt.

"Sorry! Sorry, sorry. I'm so sorry." He apologized. "Fuck, I should've done something..."

"And have him shoot me in the face?" I sniffed, and Loki just looked distraught.

"What happened?" Tony asked, and a few of them started to wake up.

"Charlie's been shot," Loki said quickly and tried to clear my face.

"What happened to uh..." Bruce started to ask as he, Tony, Steve, and Thor stared at Nick's body.

"Self defense. Do any of you know how to remove a bullet?" I asked.

"Right. Yeah. We should do that." Tony stood up and wobbled a little, but ultimately caught himself. "Fifteenth floor." He said and Loki carefully picked me up, being careful of my leg.

"I'll stay, for when the others wake up," Steve said, and the five of us went to the fifteenth floor. My leg was still in tremendous pain, but my crying had lowered to sniffles and a tear here and there.

We got to the fifteenth floor, which was like, a medical ward or something. I heard Tony say something like, "I stitch myself up a lot," or something like that.

"Thank God you're not wearing jeans." Tony hummed. "But uh, we have to get your pants off... rolling them up would only hurt more..."

"Tony, I don't care about anything right now. Just do it." I sniffed.

"Okay. That makes this about ten times easier. Loki, I'll leave that to you." Tony said and went off to get supplies with Bruce. Thor worked on trying to comfort me, and I hissed as Loki worked my joggers down my right leg. He said sorry about a hundred times before they were off me. Thor offered his hand for me to squeeze if I needed to.

"What do you mean you don't have anesthesia?" Bruce asked.

"I don't have a license!" Tony shrugged as they came over. I wasn't so much crying anymore, more like leaking tears.

Bruce and Tony began working on my leg as Thor and Loki worked on distracting me. Loki offered to put me to sleep, but I refused. I squeezed Thor's hand as they dug into my leg for the bullet, and relaxed when I finally heard the clink.

"The hard part's over, Charlie. How ya doing?" Tony asked.

"I'm alright." I sniffed a little, and Loki wiped some tears away for me.

It felt next to nothing as they stitched my leg up, then wrapped it, and I was starting to feel a bit tired.

"Is it safe for her to sleep?" Loki asked.

"Yeah. We just might wanna monitor her though." Tony said, and I tried to work my eyes open.

"No, love. You need to rest." Loki hummed, putting his hand over my forehead and eyes, and I blacked out.


	35. Chapter 35

I couldn't really use my leg to walk on, to which Loki said he could finally annoy me by carrying me around everywhere.

"You just want to carry me places." I narrowed my eyes playfully at him from where I was on the couch.

"I do. I like having you close." He gave me a smile, and I blushed faintly.

I didn't let him carry me to the bathroom, though. Loki said it was fine, to which I said, "nope, too weird."

Not that I didn't like being carried around, I did, but I honestly couldn't wait until my leg got some strength back.

Police came around with questions for me regarding Nick's death, to which I plead self-defense. He broke in, attacked all of us, shot me... I was just trying to protect myself.

They either bought it, or they looked into his file and decided to leave it alone. Either way, that was taken care of.

Loki had practically moved into my room, and he was with me every night, helping me fight off nightmares. Sometimes it'd be successful, but there were still some nights where I decided it was just better off to not sleep at all. Loki stayed up with me those nights and kept me distracted from my own thoughts. And the next morning, when I was exhausted enough to fall asleep, he'd pop out and tell Tony it was "one of those nights" and I'd black out into a dreamless sleep.

One thing I found funny was Loki was trying to hold off from sex, as he said he didn't want to accidentally hurt me further, but we both knew that was hardly possible. Especially when I wanted him just as bad.

He now had his head between my thighs, his hands stroking my skin, not once stopping. I was softly gasping with my fingers in his hair. He'd already made me come once with his tongue, but he didn't let up.

"Loki... Loki, please. Please..." I begged for the torture his tongue brought to stop.

"Come for me once more. Just once more, my love." He murmured, gazing up at me as he softly kissed the inside of my thighs. I whimpered and he dropped back down and sucked my clit into his mouth, making me cry out and my hips roll up as the pleasure spread through me.

My breathing got heavy as he licked over me again and again, collecting every little drop of wetness that he could. I let my fingers tighten in his hair, hearing his soft moans and felt them against me as my thighs twitched as I started to come again.

Loki licked it all up and smiled cheekily up at me. "You're sure you don't want another?" He asked and I shook my head. I was far too sensitive, I might implode if he touched me again. I tugged him up to me by his hair, and Loki kissed me deeply. I used his moment of distraction to flip us, and began to kiss my way down his body, going down to what I wanted.

It wasn't the first blowjob I'd given Loki. I've just always been apprehensive about giving them before. I just couldn't get it out of my head how Nick would make me cry by yanking on my hair too hard, how he loved to choke me until I lost my breath and even vomited sometimes. Loki swore to me he'd never do such a thing, and he's kept his word, so giving him oral was becoming easier and easier for me.

I licked up his underside and grinned a little at the shiver that ran through his body. I trailed my tongue around his tip, watching in delight as Loki watched me, biting his lip as he moaned, trying to keep his eyes open. I loved watching how I affected him, and I could easily understand why he loved eating me out just from that angle.

I slipped my lips around his head and watched Loki's mouth drop open. I wasn't really in a teasing mood today, so I pushed my hair behind my ears and started to sink down, letting him fill my mouth and a little of my throat. I knew my limits, and I was going to stay in my limits.

I kept going until Loki was gasping, and had my fingers laced with his on the bed at his sides.

"No, no, no. Off." He gasped, and I rose up, looking up in worry. "Oh, no. You didn't do anything wrong, love." Loki caught my cheek when he saw my face. "I just didn't want to finish in your mouth, is all."

I smiled a little and wiped my mouth. "You could've said that," I said as he placed me under him.

"Like I can think properly with your mouth doing wonders on me." Loki rolled his eyes, making me giggle. He rolled his hips into mine, his hardness meeting my slickness, both of us moaning happily. Loki held himself up on his arms on either side of me and dropped down to kiss me as he continued to grind into me, not entering just yet.

We've learned that the best position that wouldn't hurt my leg was with my knees up to my chest, legs in the air. That way he couldn't bump it accidentally, it wasn't moving around on the bed, it wasn't hurting if I wrapped my legs around him... it just hung there in the air.

So when both of us were ready, I adjusted myself under him, and Loki made sure I was comfortable before he slid into me. I let my jaw drop, and he caught my lips in a kiss as he began to move.

I was already feeling bliss, complete happiness where I was. Loki seemed happy, too, as he was murmuring little 'I love you's here and there, and he pressed kisses all over my face and neck.

I just let myself trace through his hair and across his skin. I felt Loki's pants get quicker, his moans a little more frequent.

"In or out?" He breathed. I on birth control, which I explained to him and how it was safe for him to finish in me without me getting pregnant. He always asked, though, which I found sweet somehow.

"Depends," I breathed. "Did you plan on eating me out again later?" I asked.

"I always plan on eating you out." Loki chuckled.

"Out." I rolled my eyes with a smile, and Loki nodded, going just a little harder for a little while before he pulled out and finished on my chest. He didn't even give himself time to recover as he held the backs of my thighs in place, his head dropping down and he gave me a perfect view as he licked across me once more, digging his tongue between my folds.

I whimpered and twitched as he made me come just like he knew how, and he wasn't letting up there. Ever.


End file.
